Suicidal thoughts...

[Will]

I am at that stage and thought of suicide again..

So much stress has really laid and weighed me down this time..

Have no fucking idea on how to deal with it..I do see a psychologist weekly, it helps, when I get so far gone I distance myself from people and life.

My friend is dying in the hospital, not from COVID other health issues..seeing the family deal with this is heartbreaking...known him for 25 years. I miss my Rebecca, the shoulder pain, many other things..

I do believe in God, have my whole life..there have been signs from him and hearing Rebecca's voice..I am so scared on what will happen.

My mind wanders with these thoughts.

How should I clear these thoughts from my mind?

Really need some input for those who can really help.

Who can you help? I have a 19 year old child I deal with this all the time. We are alone in the universe with nuclear reactions and big rocks and physics and shit flying at us. It's up to us. Instead of looking inside, look outside. Go help somebody else. Be a rung on somebodies ladder. That's a DO. Go to an assisted living center and play checkers. Don't waste yourself. People need you. Stop thinking selfish.

 

[97RangerXLT]

Who can you help? I have a 19 year old child I deal with this all the time. We are alone in the universe with nuclear reactions and big rocks and physics and shit flying at us. It's up to us. Instead of looking inside, look outside. Go help somebody else. Be a rung on somebodies ladder. That's a DO. Go to an assisted living center and play checkers. Don't waste yourself. People need you. Stop thinking selfish.

This is excellent advice. it is hard to be down or have those thoughts if you are helping someone else. with the state of things right now, food pantries are having trouble keeping up. volunteer. help someone who is in a bad place get to a better place in their lives. My wife and I volunteered for a very small pantry at our previous church. the interesting thing about he patrons was a good portion (probably 2/3 of them) wanted someone to talk with them talk about their issues, about life. some made poor choices, some just had a crap load dropped on them family/ job/ health wise and no real friends or family to sort it out with. A poverty of relationship is what its called, and having somewhere to turn to is a great way to get on an upward swing. you can be the one light that brings them hope.

AJ

 

[Blmpkn]

How are things going @mtnrgr ?

 

[Shran]

@mtnrgr check in please. Hope all is well.

 

[Eddo Rogue]

Anyone here live near this guy or have his number to call or drive by and check real quick?

 

[mtnrgr]

Bare with me, December was not a good month and I attempted a suicide on Christmas day... admitted myself to the hospital, and was given a pass to a center that assists individuals like myself in these situations. January was not easy either.. middle of the month I attempted again..was found and rushed to the er. End of January I was stable to a point I could go home, with close supervision. I have seen my whole life before multiple times and not sure what I am seeing, I will say I have seen God...we have made a bigger and better bond. I saw my Rebecca a few times also.

I am on the mends of recovery each day, yet still have a road in front of me standing and waiting for me.

I have been on trs now for 22 years, have known alot of people on here that are long gone..those I know today...

Those who really know me will know what this means, sometimes we win, we fail, other times we gotta do things twice.

 

[bobbywalter]

Well ..your still here


That's really something.

 

[RumPunch]

Possibly after these attempts God has a bigger and better plan for you? If you have attempted and something/someone has kept that from happening (thank God) then there is surely reason in your existence right? Do you have a mission? What is your goal at this point?

 

[RumPunch]

If one was to succeed at this horrific thought it leaves that sole in question of what is to come(no different than waking up in your queen sized bed thinking you have to be at work at 6am) you could get hit by a fucking semi on the road and never know it. If that’s what was meant to be, then it would have happened. Clearly someone/something stronger than us knows and wants you here, just like TRS and all of your loved ones. That pain caused by the “successful “ attempt is so far worse than the loved one struggling asking for help. Man the world today is FUCKED. Don’t worry about it, what positives do you have? Just list those. Nothing more nothing less. What positives do you have?

 

[85_Ranger4x4]

Glad to hear from you

 

[Eddo Rogue]

Glad you are still alive. The holidays always suck for me, then February comes along with valentines day to remind me I'm alone, and a birthday to remind me I'm getting old. Life usually gets better around spring... summers are always miserably hot, but mentally and emotionally cool. Then right around Halloween time life starts to suck again lol. Lastly it seems every 10 years I go through a period of a bunch of effed up stuff happening at once. I've got about 8 years until the next one, and will hopefully be better prepared this time. Braced for impact lol. Hang tough dude.

 

[Ranger850]

@mtnrgr you had a couple of us worried. Glad to see your still visiting TRS. I don't know what to say, except I'm glad you were unsuccessful. Maybe suicide isn't what your good at and you should keep doing what you ARE good at. Whatever that is, do it. ALL THE TIME.

 

[Blmpkn]

I'm glad your still here.

Perhaps you were unsuccessful because deep down inside you didn't want to be successful.

Mabey you should get one of these:

Look at that happy face. That's what's going to greet you every time you come home.

 

[Chapap]

From my experience with folks going thru stuff, it’s harder on those around the them than the person themself. Not even close friends necessarily. Just folks who are in regular contact and know what’s going on. Here’s my story. I find it to be comical, but no one else does.

I fell off a hover board on thanksgiving 2021, mildly broke my back, got concussed, and lost consciousness for a short time. Got a head/back CT scan at the ER that found cancer. I don’t really think about any of it and am just along for the ride. Not so much with everyone around me.

 

[97RangerXLT]

Glad you are still around. Take it one day at a time, get someone local to you to talk to as well, someone you can text and tell them you are struggling and they can meet up with you in person.

most churches will have a ministry that can help with that.

AJ