Funniest Repair Orders you've seen?

[Ranger Sport Honduras]

once a guy came to the mechanic(my mechanic, he told me this one) with a severe burning smell and loud grinding noise in the tires, happens that he thought his corolla was a rally car, smashed the ball joints and all other stuff, also the wheel bearing was dry as a desert, almost broken! so the mech says: wow this happens when u do "over maintenance"(something like too much maintenance) and he replies: really? well i wont be taking it to the old shop again i bet they used too much grease

also a teacher of mine complained that his car was too hard to start, when we popped tha hood he had like 2" cones of buld up in the battery terminals

of the guy thats asks this: why when im driving in down hill and i shift in neutral i can feel the car smoother, quieter and faster??

 

[unknown]

rofl after reading this my small quetsions are just helpfull hints!

 

[Mudhound]

I run a part-time shop at my house, and I am currently changing a transmission for a local. The complaint is " When I go to put the transmission in gear and move, I have to force the shifter and rev the engine, otherwise, all I get is a really loud, awful "squeal" noise." Moron appearently doesn't comprehend that the pedal on the far left is for the CLUTCH. So, now, I am replacing the tranny since the shift syncros don't and the clutch is wasted. Oh, well, it makes me money, and gives me somethng to do.

 

[unknown]

I run a part-time shop at my house, and I am currently changing a transmission for a local. The complaint is " When I go to put the transmission in gear and move, I have to force the shifter and rev the engine, otherwise, all I get is a really loud, awful "squeal" noise." Moron appearently doesn't comprehend that the pedal on the far left is for the CLUTCH. So, now, I am replacing the tranny since the shift syncros don't and the clutch is wasted. Oh, well, it makes me money, and gives me somethng to do.

leave a note clutch on the far left push in shift (not only made to start)
also all cars have a shifting point READ THE ****ING MANUAL!

 

[lostexan]

When I used to work in the tire and lube at walmart, I had some redneck come in and try to cuss me out saying I didnt check the rear end fluid in his girl friend/sisters focus.I tried explaining that it was FWD, but it took his girlfreind to convince him that it didnt have a rear end.
Another one which I chuckle bout still to this day was at walmart also. After changing this older ladies tires twice with 4 new tires each time I refer her to get her front end checked. She comes back later that week and says the front end as fine, but still has a bad vibration and noisy. I lift it up and check the balance which are all perfect. After my shop manager and I get done scratching our heads I let her take me for a test drive. Needles to say we are on the highway Within 5 minutes she falls asleep and sways off and hits the lil bumpies on the side of the highway.At this time I have freaked out and yelling while she "saying it did it, did you her it?" My spinkter finally gained conscious and I had her drop me back off at the shop and had her call her son to drive her home. I told her son what was going on. I can laugh about it know....

 

[mattpresley]

"cust. states dead cat under intake manifold. request removal"

the unlucky technician that ended up working on this guys '05 4.0 mustang spent 4 hours removing the upper intake manifold where a cat had crawled up and gotten stuck, and cleaning the rotting carcass out. at one point, he grabbed the cats tail and lifted up, only to lift out the tail, part of the backbone, and a gob of maggots.

arty had a good sense of humor about the whole situation though. he summed up his actions on the back of the RO: "removed cat.". thats it.

LOL thats funny as hell!

BTW: my 500 post milemark

 

[Black'03LevelII]

I work on semis for a living, and I just a driver come in this morning (still dark out) saying he had no dash lights in his truck. So I walk to the truck to check out the problem only to find that the "highly trained and motivated "PROFESSIONAL" driver" had hit the slider that dims the lights in the dash!! So after I got them working he asked if it was a bad fuse, to which I replied "Nope just a loose nut behind the wheel"

 

[AgPete139]

I knew a guy in the dorms that owned an '87 Cherokee 6 cylinder (he had the previously-used vehicle for 3 years at this point). He asked me why he's getting horrible gas mileage, and I suggested proper tire inflation and driving habits.

For the record, he is a 3rd year Mechanical Engineering student that huffed around like he was too smart for everyone else.

It turns out that in the few years he had the car, he never changed or added oil. Insurance somehow gave him $4,500 (how, I don't know) and instead of getting another used car or used drivetrain, he demanded the shop rebuild his motor and prove it.

On top of that, he did not know that his car needed oil...EVER. "It never needed any oil before, so why does it need it now?"

He graduated, and apparently does consulting work. Are you scared? I am.





Keep posting. Some of these stories are hilarious.


Pete

 

[stockfornow]

I got one for you. At the walmart tire and lube I used to work for my dad took his 99 chevy 1500 in for new tires on my day off. Well the boss refused to put the tires on because my dad wanted to upgrade from a p rated tire to an lt tire. The boss said the lt tires where too heavy for the axles. I actually had to go in and educate the boss in order to get the tires put on.

 

[BeaterMan]

When i was taking auto classes at the college, we had a student who thought he was mr. know it all and the king bee. man did he know everything- not really but thats how acted. one day he was driving the teacher crazy and the teacher had him go change a thermostat on an old volkswagon air cooled engine. this idiot started tearing stuff out of this car and 2 hours later, he finally asked for help finding the thermostat. teacher looked at it and said, its air cooled. some people scare the crap out of me knowing they could/will be working on vehicles.

 

[wrecking-crew]

we almost tricked a kid in school into 23.2jigawatt(something like that) flux capacitors for a porshe and he can find em at homedepot then he backhanded me in the balls hard the next day when someone told him we bullshited him.......

 

[chillmiller]

ok i got one i am a marine mechanic so i get a call " when i put the boat in gear the boat does not move" so i drive 25 miles out to the guyi check his linkage and all that then i look at his prop... its on backwards!!! i ask him how he did that ( these things are not sposed to go on that way)well apparently mr. know it all jammed it on there taking out all the teeth on the spindle and then just put the nut on the end so it ws free spinning so i tell him that i am gonna have to rebuild his lower end and the warranty does not cover the OOV . hes like OOV? yes owner operator valve you must replace it because the old one just cost you 2000 bucks good news is there free .

nother one!
so i go out there and the guy is complaining about " loud pops and sputtering from is Yamaha" so i go out there (blown head gaskets are rare on outboards) will my tools and such and start working i clean the carbs ($200) change the fluids($50) to a leak down and compression test (free ninetynine) and in there is a huge leak in the #1 so i get my light and take a peek in the hole and see what looks like another hole.... so i get my feeler gauge and start poking around and sure enough something dont feel right

so i pull off the head and there is a hole in the piston so i look at him... hes like what? im like do you not see the hole? " i thought that was there so the gas can get in the cylinder" i look at him again... "realy?" the rough hole right where the spark plug is and you think its so the fuel can get in the combustion chamber? him"yes?" ok let me explain this simpler what kind of plugs do you use? "autolights im not playing for ngk's! there 2 dollars more" well you should of because not your gonna play me 3,500+ what i did today"


then advance jokes

i walk in...

me: " hey how you doin im lookin for a part"
him: ok what ya looking for
me: 81 DMC delorean
him: ok.. what ya lookin for
me: i need a fan belt and a flux capacitor
him: after 10 minutes hold on i got the fan belt but the flux capacitor let me call over the manger
me: ok
manger: what ya looking for hmm 81 dmc flux capacitor
me: yup
manger: hey paul ( a.k.a him its back next to the trim
me: great scott!!!!
the manger starts cracking up!!!!! laughing his ass off to the point where he is crying
he looks at me
manger: i havent laughed like that in years!!!!! just between me and you im goona fire that idiot by the way did you really need that fan belt?
me: nope just part of the joke


called up the same place later that day looking for lube for my 94 probe lol

 

[srteach]

I'm not an auto tech. I was parking at Walmart one day and noticed a crowd around a parked car, which had it's hood up. The crowd included an animal control officer for the city. Upon approaching the crowd and car, I noticed a fan belted cat problem. Walmart supplied the tools, city supplied the replacement fan belt, old fart idiot supplied the cat, repaid the city for the belt, and paid the $300 fine for letting the cat out of his car. He went shopping after he let the cat loose. It wasn't the old farts car that caught the cat. It was 1 hour trying to get the cat out before we cut the fan belt. I installed the new belt.
The cat lived, I was given the tools for free.

 

[srteach]

Another time, a HOT chick I was interested in asked me to fix her car. While doing so, I found some "interesting" skin pics of her and her favorite (according to her) toy in the glove box. She let me keep the pics, and I dated her for a while. The pics were actually her, upon closer comparison and inspection.

 

[wrecking-crew]

that reminds me, when i was working at a friends garage he's renting there was a caravan that was taken off another farm no title, pa inspection, and sliding door was off. well he told me to clean it and i fount literally hundreds of condoms(one used.....yea). i tossed them. i also found spoiled food in a s15 jimmy he "supposivly" had.(someone at the farm said take it its fine with the owner then the owner couldnt find it)
i had that van running off straight mystery oil.

i was trying to fix a donated sploder w/ blown head gaskets at slowtech(votech) and i looked under the seat in it and found a lacy thong........it was a doctors car(found that out from some mail in it)