LED bulbs suck

[James Morse]

I had some guy behind me the other day pre-dawn (dark) and I saw him go from highs to lows but even on lows it was like they were periodically one or the other side glaring like crazy, those bluish lights. Like sometimes you'll see that if a car goes over a hump/dip and the angle changes but it was like not both sides so it was weird as f I almost wanted to stop and get out and tell they guy your headlights are f'd. Some headlights I think turn when you turn maybe it was that but I gotta tell you it was bad.

Talked to surgical oncologist, outlook not good because they can't get 3cm from the margin which is the target to take to get it all so she said it will come back. And the surgery would involve taking part of her cranium, putting in a steel plate, and maybe taking other parts, including probably taking out an eye. Sounds gruesome. Long recovery and she said because of location can't take more than 1cm of margin so basically zero probability of getting it all. Could count on another operation after even worse and again can't get it all. She said she believes it started in the bone of the skull and it is eating away the bone and she said it won't heal up (the skin) but that's just the tip of it and the bone invasion is extremely painful and if it were a person they would be in the hospital on morphine. So cost aside (which would be huge) it wouldn't solve anything and I don't see that as a solution I think it would be worse for her and probably worse for us too to have her all cut up and then having it just grow back. At this point I'm saying the most merciful thing is taker her out of pain. Even though she doesn't complain. The surgeon was very realistic about things and really, compassionate, talked to her over 1/2 hour and as to putting her down (how to know when) she said, there's not a wrong time, tomorrow would not be wrong. Vicky's crying, I'm telling her, it's happening, not sure when but it's soon. Surgeon said watch for further changes in behavior, especially if she stops eating. Can put her on stronger pain meds to stretch the time a little but she said then she'll just be sedated all the time. Sorry I hijacked this thread but I guess not much more to say about it, yeah, it never gets easier so I am saying to Vicky and to myself we just have to accept it and steel ourselves for it and it is the most merciful and unselfish thing to do for her. We did everything we could and it's just time. She had a good life, (we got her when she was almost 5), never abused, never missed a meal, had an easy life, was happy. Now she's in pain even if she doesn't complain and the cancer is just getting worse and worse so I'd say it's a matter of weeks if not days.

Thanks for the kind words. You all that have gone through this understand and I appreciated being able to talk about this totally non-Ranger topic it helped me some.

 

[alwaysFlOoReD]

I had some guy behind me the other day pre-dawn (dark) and I saw him go from highs to lows but even on lows it was like they were periodically one or the other side glaring like crazy, those bluish lights. Like sometimes you'll see that if a car goes over a hump/dip and the angle changes but it was like not both sides so it was weird as f I almost wanted to stop and get out and tell they guy your headlights are f'd. Some headlights I think turn when you turn maybe it was that but I gotta tell you it was bad.

Talked to surgical oncologist, outlook not good because they can't get 3cm from the margin which is the target to take to get it all so she said it will come back. And the surgery would involve taking part of her cranium, putting in a steel plate, and maybe taking other parts, including probably taking out an eye. Sounds gruesome. Long recovery and she said because of location can't take more than 1cm of margin so basically zero probability of getting it all. Could count on another operation after even worse and again can't get it all. She said she believes it started in the bone of the skull and it is eating away the bone and she said it won't heal up (the skin) but that's just the tip of it and the bone invasion is extremely painful and if it were a person they would be in the hospital on morphine. So cost aside (which would be huge) it wouldn't solve anything and I don't see that as a solution I think it would be worse for her and probably worse for us too to have her all cut up and then having it just grow back. At this point I'm saying the most merciful thing is taker her out of pain. Even though she doesn't complain. The surgeon was very realistic about things and really, compassionate, talked to her over 1/2 hour and as to putting her down (how to know when) she said, there's not a wrong time, tomorrow would not be wrong. Vicky's crying, I'm telling her, it's happening, not sure when but it's soon. Surgeon said watch for further changes in behavior, especially if she stops eating. Can put her on stronger pain meds to stretch the time a little but she said then she'll just be sedated all the time. Sorry I hijacked this thread but I guess not much more to say about it, yeah, it never gets easier so I am saying to Vicky and to myself we just have to accept it and steel ourselves for it and it is the most merciful and unselfish thing to do for her. We did everything we could and it's just time. She had a good life, (we got her when she was almost 5), never abused, never missed a meal, had an easy life, was happy. Now she's in pain even if she doesn't complain and the cancer is just getting worse and worse so I'd say it's a matter of weeks if not days.

Thanks for the kind words. You all that have gone through this understand and I appreciated being able to talk about this totally non-Ranger topic it helped me some.

Its not easy. The first time in had to deal with this I let it go too long and learned a harsh lesson. The next time I didn't wait, which I think was much better for everyone.

 

[NMC_EXP]

Modern factoty headlights are an abomination as far as blinding oncoming traffic. Couple that with most modern vehicles have 2 sets of headlights, and the unlifted pick-up trucks have headlights chect high off the ground and we are getting night blinded. As usual, your government at work I suppose.

May not be an issue for you younger folks, but I will flat guarantee that if you survive into your seventies, you will give up driving at night. Your eyes will go to hell in a bucket, and the eye doc can't fix it.

This from a guy who drove straight thru from Illinois to Colorado several times in the 70s. Preferred night driving because none of my cars had AC so I was cool, and the oncoming headlights did not night blind me..

Jim

 

[O No 3.0!]

Hmmmm, i have about 50 warm white incandescent bulbs laying around.....

 

[James Morse]

Hmmmm, i have about 50 warm white incandescent bulbs laying around.....

Selling them? If so what watts/lumens whatever. 100W or equivalent best but 60W/eq would be fine.

most modern vehicles have 2 sets of headlights

yeah that's what was weird in what I described it was just a small/medium suv/crossover type, not high at all.

I let it go too long

I hear you loud and clear. I'm setting it up for Monday if I can. It's 48 hours. Worst part is if you didn't see the ugliness of it and didn't have the knowledge how bad it is, she acts happy and normal, wagging her tail, appetite good in fact seems like hungrier with the meds. Seems like the add'l meds (added Gabrapentin to the Carbuprofen which latter is basically ibuprofen) helped, also she had and injection when at the cancer place which is what they give women for osteoporosis that supposedly slows the bone loss / invasion by the cancer (doesn't stop the cancer though). But it's so aggressive and just keeps growing so it's time. I guess I've accepted it's happening and am trying to just be normal with her and not xfr my angst because they pick up on it, and take her in just like it's a regular vet exam. It's the most merciful thing I can do having exhausted all other possibilities. Thanks for the support. It's just going to take a little getting used to because really she was a part of the family as Vicky puts it and I know there will be times I come in the door and think "where's Meisha?" and then, oh, yeah, right. You don't really get over it, you just think about it less over time.

 

[James Morse]

Taking her this morning. It's really hard. Thanks for bearing with me on this.