- Joined
- Aug 31, 2021
- Messages
- 1,891
- Reaction score
- 974
- Points
- 113
- Location
- Roanoke VA
- Vehicle Year
- 1997 and 1999
- Make / Model
- XLT 4x4 & B3000
- Engine Type
- 4.0 V6
- Engine Size
- 4.0L in XLT, 3.0L in B3000
- Transmission
- Automatic
- 2WD / 4WD
- 4WD
- Tire Size
- 31x10.5-15 K02's on the Ranger, 235/75R15 on Mazda
- My credo
- The perfect is the enemy of the good.
I had some guy behind me the other day pre-dawn (dark) and I saw him go from highs to lows but even on lows it was like they were periodically one or the other side glaring like crazy, those bluish lights. Like sometimes you'll see that if a car goes over a hump/dip and the angle changes but it was like not both sides so it was weird as f I almost wanted to stop and get out and tell they guy your headlights are f'd. Some headlights I think turn when you turn maybe it was that but I gotta tell you it was bad.
Talked to surgical oncologist, outlook not good because they can't get 3cm from the margin which is the target to take to get it all so she said it will come back. And the surgery would involve taking part of her cranium, putting in a steel plate, and maybe taking other parts, including probably taking out an eye. Sounds gruesome. Long recovery and she said because of location can't take more than 1cm of margin so basically zero probability of getting it all. Could count on another operation after even worse and again can't get it all. She said she believes it started in the bone of the skull and it is eating away the bone and she said it won't heal up (the skin) but that's just the tip of it and the bone invasion is extremely painful and if it were a person they would be in the hospital on morphine. So cost aside (which would be huge) it wouldn't solve anything and I don't see that as a solution I think it would be worse for her and probably worse for us too to have her all cut up and then having it just grow back. At this point I'm saying the most merciful thing is taker her out of pain. Even though she doesn't complain. The surgeon was very realistic about things and really, compassionate, talked to her over 1/2 hour and as to putting her down (how to know when) she said, there's not a wrong time, tomorrow would not be wrong. Vicky's crying, I'm telling her, it's happening, not sure when but it's soon. Surgeon said watch for further changes in behavior, especially if she stops eating. Can put her on stronger pain meds to stretch the time a little but she said then she'll just be sedated all the time. Sorry I hijacked this thread but I guess not much more to say about it, yeah, it never gets easier so I am saying to Vicky and to myself we just have to accept it and steel ourselves for it and it is the most merciful and unselfish thing to do for her. We did everything we could and it's just time. She had a good life, (we got her when she was almost 5), never abused, never missed a meal, had an easy life, was happy. Now she's in pain even if she doesn't complain and the cancer is just getting worse and worse so I'd say it's a matter of weeks if not days.
Thanks for the kind words. You all that have gone through this understand and I appreciated being able to talk about this totally non-Ranger topic it helped me some.
Talked to surgical oncologist, outlook not good because they can't get 3cm from the margin which is the target to take to get it all so she said it will come back. And the surgery would involve taking part of her cranium, putting in a steel plate, and maybe taking other parts, including probably taking out an eye. Sounds gruesome. Long recovery and she said because of location can't take more than 1cm of margin so basically zero probability of getting it all. Could count on another operation after even worse and again can't get it all. She said she believes it started in the bone of the skull and it is eating away the bone and she said it won't heal up (the skin) but that's just the tip of it and the bone invasion is extremely painful and if it were a person they would be in the hospital on morphine. So cost aside (which would be huge) it wouldn't solve anything and I don't see that as a solution I think it would be worse for her and probably worse for us too to have her all cut up and then having it just grow back. At this point I'm saying the most merciful thing is taker her out of pain. Even though she doesn't complain. The surgeon was very realistic about things and really, compassionate, talked to her over 1/2 hour and as to putting her down (how to know when) she said, there's not a wrong time, tomorrow would not be wrong. Vicky's crying, I'm telling her, it's happening, not sure when but it's soon. Surgeon said watch for further changes in behavior, especially if she stops eating. Can put her on stronger pain meds to stretch the time a little but she said then she'll just be sedated all the time. Sorry I hijacked this thread but I guess not much more to say about it, yeah, it never gets easier so I am saying to Vicky and to myself we just have to accept it and steel ourselves for it and it is the most merciful and unselfish thing to do for her. We did everything we could and it's just time. She had a good life, (we got her when she was almost 5), never abused, never missed a meal, had an easy life, was happy. Now she's in pain even if she doesn't complain and the cancer is just getting worse and worse so I'd say it's a matter of weeks if not days.
Thanks for the kind words. You all that have gone through this understand and I appreciated being able to talk about this totally non-Ranger topic it helped me some.