i'm worried about my girlfriend. think she would be mad if..

[turbo cat]

Im going to call BS on you having a GF.... if you do, i feel sorry for her. You seem like you are the type of guy that gives all a bad name.... "ITS MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY BITCH".....
You sound like you have serious control issues....or you honestly DONT care about your "loved one". YOU SIR, need to swallow your pride.....
What has made my relationship so successful is COMPROMISE... I DO NOT get on my hands an knees for her but i do make sure that she is HAPPY.... I do what i want and so does she....

Yes you need to compromise but giving up what you love to do becasue she wants you to do is getting down on your knees. there is no compromise in what his father did. His father let HER take complete control. She is the one with the control issues

 

[Nipplechops]

basically my best advice is stop trying to be what they call a "fixer"...someone whos always trying to fix a girl with issues. if she has mentally unstable issues and past issues with depression you may want to think hard about being with someone like that. For example ive been with a couple of women who had bipolar issuez. i had an issue with always trying to fix the situations and make it all better. Oh **** was i wrong....I had to learn the hard way....domestic violence charges galour and a whole summer in and out of the court room over and over again. Not saying that you will lead this path but what im getting at one good point i had to learn thru the manditory treatment classes i had to take for years.....You only have contol over yourself and no one else. You cant control anyone or change them. You bowing down to her is not going to change her issuez. 90% of the time shes going to pull these depression problems back into your relationship over and over again with every problem that happens.

A tthis point you can waste your time trying to fix her but you have to take care of yourself. Sometimes you have to take a step back and ask yourself "is this relationship really healthy for me" ...finding a healthy relationship is the best thing you can do for yourself.

I dont know you or how your relationship really is by its just my opinion that to be with someone who has mentally instable problems, bipolar, constantly depressed, and mostly "NEEDY" its usually not the best thing for your health. In any relationship there has to be some compromise. I compromise everyday in my relationship with my girl. But sometimes I have alot I want or need to get done and she will start with the "when are you going to have tiem for me" I just tell her "I love you but this is what i have to do and you know that" and usually she quickly has a second thought ans says "yeah i know im just being needy" ...well not in those words lol

good luck to you if you trully want it to work with her you need to get her to a counselor or psychologist who may be able to help her. You trying to fix her is going t ocause you nothing but stress, and sometimes more problems.

Best advice in this thread, period. I went through a similar experience and in the end my relentless need to "fix" her almost killed both of us. We were happy at first, but after we moved in together she started drifting away. She flunked out of university and began hanging out woth the raver crowd and it tore me apart. So much so it almost drove me to suicide. When she kicked me out I honestly thought my world was coming to an end. I did everything she asked, spent more time with her, ditched my friends and tried to hang with her crowd. None of it worked. I ended up convincing myself that she was messing around which led to even more issues along the way.

To make a long story short, she was diagnosed with severe Bipolar Disorder and nothing I could have done would have made her better. It took a long time (and a kid) for her to level out.

It took one more bad relationship for me to learn that people can and will only fix themselves. You can't do it for them. You can try but you will always fail. If you concentrate too much on "fixing" your partner, you eventually lose yourself somewhere along the way. Trust me, that is something best not lost. It can take years to find again.

 

[Hypnotic Toast]

I have a girlfriend and a wife so I know...

Lol, what?

 

[Bryan22]

Haha! I missed that.

 

[Ozwynn]

I didn't, but I wouldn't want to speculate if he's serious.

 

[RedneckLutheran]

take her to dinner...and flowers...there should be flowers involved...

 

[OilPatch197]

There is a guy at rangerpowersports, his name is Dr. Phil, he can help you.

 

[racsan]

put your dog and your girlfreind in the trunk of a car. come back in a hour and see which is happy to see you. lol

 

[crbnunit]

I don't know. I still stand by my earlier post. Having been through almost exactly the same thing and having been where she is now, I can tell you what kind of stress she is under. However, I can't tell you if it will be temporary and things will get better. If it is temporary, things should start looking up as soon as her tests are out of the way. If not... it will be time to move on. Is it going to hurt to support her though a short term tough spot? If it still fails, at least you will know you tried. Just depends on whether you care enough to try I guess.