i'm worried about my girlfriend. think she would be mad if..

[92 5 oh]

so lately my gf has been acting weird. she's been moody, the slightest things will trigger her and her attitude will do a 180. for example...she lives with me, and she misses her dog. her dog is at her parents house, sometimes she goes over there and visits her dog and parents. i work 8-5 then go over my parents house to work on cars until 9pm 3 or 4 days out of the week. i asked her if she wanted me to stay home this week and we could hang out. she said no, it didn't matter, she didn't want to come between me and work and my parents. so i said ok. i went over my parents house to work on some cars on tuesday and wed. night. i get home wed night and she's really mad at me. i couldn't figure out what's going on, i tried talking to her but she wouldn't tell me anything and was being really stubborn. so i take my laptop and go into the living room and mess around to give her some time to cool off, plus i didn't want to be around here while she was being a pain. so i didn't talk to her the rest of wed night, or thursday morning before i went to work. all day thursday she ignored me. i found out that she was really mad that i went to my parents house to work. after she got off work she went to a christmas party with her work. so i started getting worried, called some friends, no one heard from her. i drove to her parents house a little after 10 and she was sitting in her car drinking a 4 pack (or whatever they sell em in) of wine coolers. i asked if she was ok, she didn't say anything to me. i had to beg her to let in the passenger seat to talk to her. she wasn't drunk or anything. she ended up staying at her parents house last night, i tried talking to her to see if she was ok, for about 45 minutes i only got a few sentences out of her. she just didn't want to talk me to at all about anything. lately her attitude has been really bad. i know she hates her job to no end, she's got a final next week and if she fails this class she gets kicked out of the nursing program and she told me that in the past she had a depression problem and it's starting to come back. on top of that, i don't think she managers her emotions and stress very well. i finally convenced her to see someone and next week she has an appointment. i'm very concerned about our relationship, but more so, i'm concerned about her. i want to make sure she's ok but i don't want to make her mad. i don't know if she wants space, or if she's trying to reach out for help or if she's just taking a dump on me because of school and work and everything else. i thought about calling her mom and talking to her but i dont' want to make her madder than she already is but at the same time i'm concerned. what do you guys think? and no, it's not another guy lol. i was able to get that much from her and i honestly believe that.

 

[ghost_rader]

sorry to hear that things aren't going too well for you, but (this is just my opinion) you might want to spend some quality time with her instead of going over to your parents house. take her out or get a movis and stay in. if you ask her she isn't always going to tell you whats really bothering her. if i were you, i would limit the wrenching down to 1 day a week and do more than just relaxing around the house with her.

again these are just my thoughts and what i would do.

 

[PickupMan04 FX4 L2]

Spend more time with her, treat her like a princess till you see a marked change. IE hang up all the projects and family for a bit.

than slowly get back into the swing of things like you were doing before she flipped..

-MATT

 

[superdave1984]

so lately my gf has been acting weird. she's been moody, the slightest things will trigger her and her attitude will do a 180. for example...she lives with me, and she misses her dog. her dog is at her parents house, sometimes she goes over there and visits her dog and parents. i work 8-5 then go over my parents house to work on cars until 9pm 3 or 4 days out of the week. i asked her if she wanted me to stay home this week and we could hang out. she said no, it didn't matter, she didn't want to come between me and work and my parents. so i said ok. i went over my parents house to work on some cars on tuesday and wed. night. i get home wed night and she's really mad at me. i couldn't figure out what's going on, i tried talking to her but she wouldn't tell me anything and was being really stubborn. so i take my laptop and go into the living room and mess around to give her some time to cool off, plus i didn't want to be around here while she was being a pain. so i didn't talk to her the rest of wed night, or thursday morning before i went to work. all day thursday she ignored me. i found out that she was really mad that i went to my parents house to work. after she got off work she went to a christmas party with her work. so i started getting worried, called some friends, no one heard from her. i drove to her parents house a little after 10 and she was sitting in her car drinking a 4 pack (or whatever they sell em in) of wine coolers. i asked if she was ok, she didn't say anything to me. i had to beg her to let in the passenger seat to talk to her. she wasn't drunk or anything. she ended up staying at her parents house last night, i tried talking to her to see if she was ok, for about 45 minutes i only got a few sentences out of her. she just didn't want to talk me to at all about anything. lately her attitude has been really bad. i know she hates her job to no end, she's got a final next week and if she fails this class she gets kicked out of the nursing program and she told me that in the past she had a depression problem and it's starting to come back. on top of that, i don't think she managers her emotions and stress very well. i finally convenced her to see someone and next week she has an appointment. i'm very concerned about our relationship, but more so, i'm concerned about her. i want to make sure she's ok but i don't want to make her mad. i don't know if she wants space, or if she's trying to reach out for help or if she's just taking a dump on me because of school and work and everything else. i thought about calling her mom and talking to her but i dont' want to make her madder than she already is but at the same time i'm concerned. what do you guys think? and no, it's not another guy lol. i was able to get that much from her and i honestly believe that.

If you even THINK about asking this question, the answer is YES. Give her some attention. Take over some of the stuff she normally does around the house to ease her stress level. Anything you can do to make her day easier without telling her that you are doing it will be great. Go get the dog and bring it over for the week or something if it is allowed where you live. Have it there when she gets home.

 

[97ranger4x4]

yeh I agree with what was already said. I would try talking to her mom and see if she can provide insight. Maybe call her when your gf does not know and tell her mom to keep it between the two of you. you could probably find some useful info.

 

[Psychopete]

she said no, it didn't matter, she didn't want to come between me and work and my parents. so i said ok.

"She didn't want to come inbetween what you were doing", RED FLAG!

By reading this, I already knew the following line was coming:

i found out that she was really mad that i went to my parents house to work.

By doing that, you made her feel insignificant, like work and school are more important than her.

IMO, There's nothing you can do to make yourself more avaliable, so you're really in kind of a bind. Women don't typically think later, as opposed to right now. She isn't looking at the current situation as temporary one. I'd suspect that she feels that you're not spending enough time with her, which may or may not be true.

I've had good luck with dropping trying to talk with a woman about a problem now (stop bringing it up, you're digging yourself deeper into a hole), and try to make a positive atmosphere to help put her in a better mood, which she'll realize how silly she is being once the tension is gone.

Pete

 

[BlackBII]

i asked her if she wanted me to stay home this week and we could hang out. she said no, it didn't matter, she didn't want to come between me and work and my parents. :

I call BS. I bet that is a reason she is mad. (One of them at least)

You really need to get her to talk. Tell her you care, tell her you want to fix it and you'll do anything. She needs to let it out! Otherwise you will never know and your relationship will end up in shambles.

 

[Jspafford]

She thinks you don't find her important, or another way to say it is, She thinks all the other things in your life come before her. When you asked if she wanted you to stay home, and she said no.... she wanted you to stay home. If she would have said yes, she would feel like she pressured you into spending time with her. The ladies want YOU to WANT to spend time with them without having to be asked.

I work two jobs and just got married in September. I've run into this before, the first time it blindsided me, but now I understand...

Good luck!

 

[92 5 oh]

well i'm glad everyone says the same thing. i just came back from lunch and was doing a little thinking, i'm going to limit the work down to 1 day a week. she called me too, she sounds better, tonight she's going to tell me what she's thinking and i'm going to listen. plus i could use a break from all the work. i'm going to set a schedule for work and stick to it and while i'm not working i'm going to spend more time at home. i think this will be a lot better all around because i've got some stuff i need to do at home anyways. don't get me wrong, i do WANT to spend time with her, and we do. infact i took this new job, making less money so i could have weekends off to spend with her. and we go out to dinner, movies, dates usually every other weekend but i think i need to be there more now since she's going through a lot. I guess i've got to do a better job of reading between the lines and work on me. man, this girl stuff is tough lol. my last gf was never this difficult, but i later found out that she was whore lol. i feel like this is the one stop place, i can get all the info i need about my truck, get counseling and have a laugh in the garage! lol

 

[Crunchy]

Dude, we all know what it feels like to start throwing money into repairs on our truck hoping it would fix a problem, and sometimes it does nto fix it, but putting that new shiny part in makes us all feel better.

Relate that here:

Buy her some flowers. It can't hurt and might just make things better.

 

[Jason]

I am all but sure the problem you are having now reaches much further back than the night you talked to her about going to your parents.

 

[racsan]

from that commercial with kevin harvick : "maybe you need a new girlfreind" lol , just kidding. it came to mind and i just had to say it.

 

[Todd]

Ditto on what everyone else said.

When ever my g/f says anything like what yours has said I drop what I have planned and spend time with her.

 

[gatlin04]

It just sounds like she has a ton on her plate right now and her anchor isnt there to back her up. Id say just back off the mechanicing for a few weeks.

It depends on how close you are to her parents... if you guys are close, definitely talk to them and ask them to keep it between you and them.....

I made the mistake of speaking to her parents about it but not asking them to keep it between just us.... it really made my g/f think that i didnt trust anything that she said....

I say keep it simple..... forget the flowers... go out and get her something that you have never gotten her before....For example (i know it may sound lame) my g/f really likes the "fastbreak" candy bar....I went out and got her a big ass box of them.... she loved it. Flowers are too easy and the "norm" for saying im sorry. Do something for her that shows that you obviously have been listening to her.

That is something that i learned from my dad... a few times a week just bring her home that special something that she really likes just to show that you were thing about her while you were out...... little things like that will help. Im not saying that you dont do that already, but if you dont, it really helps.

Good luck man..... I hope for the best!

 

[BlackBII]

Dude, we all know what it feels like to start throwing money into repairs on our truck hoping it would fix a problem, and sometimes it does nto fix it, but putting that new shiny part in makes us all feel better.

Relate that here:

Buy her some flowers. It can't hurt and might just make things better.

I would take a rain check on the flowers.....

In times like these, a lot of girls see you buying them flowers as a way to cover up the issue and get out of it, rather than confront it and take care of it.

Buy her flowers when times are good. Not when times are bad.