I just got called an

[LittleHorse]

doesn't sound like you would anyway, but don't cave in just because some uppity bitch criticized your parenting skills. She probably won't even be able to put two and two together when her kid can't hold down a job due to chronic tardiness, or when the kid has moved out of the house and shows up hours late to family events. "Maybe that guy did know what he was doing..."

I don't have kids yet, but I have some insight into this because my parents were pretty strict on me in that regard and pretty lenient with my younger brother. I was in trouble if I was 5 minutes late, and he could basically show up whenever he wanted. I dont' have any hard feelings about it, because he now lives in his own time zone and probably hasn't been on time to anything since he got a drivers license. He's my brother and I love the kid but damn...

 

[LittleHorse]

ok, im changing the subject for a second....

im been talking with this girl alot, and i know her dad is strict about curfew and stuff... most the time, well like 99% of the time, i can have her home on time...but there are times that ill be running like 5 minutes late...i dont want to speed and risk her life just to get her home on time....

as parents, would you be alright, if i called and asked if she could be a few minutes late? not all the time, just occasionally...

I think if it happened once or twice and it was just a few minutes they would probably recognize that you have respect for the rules of their house and their daughter. Don't abuse it though, 'cause if it starts happening a lot they'll forget about the respect thing and it'll be as if you just didn't call at all.

 

[TheBeast]

If your 20+ years old, and still stand to a curfew, thats stupid.

Secondly, Cursing at your daughter, let alone yelling at her consistently isn't what I'd call great parenting skills. A firm but soft approach to it works just as well, without setting everything she loves about you on fire. She's your daughter, not a damn military lackee. Jesus.

 

[Tiollib]

If your 20+ years old, and still stand to a curfew, thats stupid.

Secondly, Cursing at your daughter, let alone yelling at her consistently isn't what I'd call great parenting skills. A firm but soft approach to it works just as well, without setting everything she loves about you on fire. She's your daughter, not a damn military lackee. Jesus.

You must be one of those that thinks that spanking a child is beating a child. If a child doesn't bear a consequence to their actions, then they will try to get away with more next time. And if the child is living under the parents house, it is still the parents house. They don't have to let you live there once your 18.

 

[TheBeast]

No, not that way at all. The last thing I'd want to do is "Beat" my kid. My parents spanked my when I was younger and I did something really dumb, like cutting a hole in the side of garage to make a "window". I'm not bitter about it, they did the right thing. Your living under their roof, but your not 10 years old. You live with someone else and pay rent, the last thing your room mate can say is, you need to be back by 11. I help around the house, do chores, buy groceries, go to the store. I still live with my parents while I'm in college. They don't give me a curfew, because it's so stupid. It doesn't matter what time of day it is. If I want to go buy 10lbs of weed and smoke it, or shoot someone, I can do it whether its 1 in the morning, or 1 in the afternoon.

 

[Capt Jay]

yeah we went through that too ..... if dad says no mama will say yes ........ no if 1 parent says no and then they ask the other one ...... big time trouble...... so they don't do it anymore.........

My step son tried that once.............once.

If your 20+ years old, and still stand to a curfew, thats stupid.

Secondly, Cursing at your daughter, let alone yelling at her consistently isn't what I'd call great parenting skills. A firm but soft approach to it works just as well, without setting everything she loves about you on fire. She's your daughter, not a damn military lackee. Jesus.

I agree, to a point. If they live in your house, you set the rules. You also have to realize that at that age they are adults. I had rules when I moved back home during the summers of college. When I moved home for a year when I was 28.......no rules. I was just hired as an airline pilot an had SOME personal responsibilities.

To your second point. I don't believe you ever need to swear at your kids. Talk to them like people. They are smarter than you give them credit for.

You must be one of those that thinks that spanking a child is beating a child. If a child doesn't bear a consequence to their actions, then they will try to get away with more next time. And if the child is living under the parents house, it is still the parents house. They don't have to let you live there once your 18.

There is a difference between disciplining a child and beating a child. Talking to your kid about something they did wrong and then giving them a spanking to let them know there are consequences, is OK in my opinion. When you see some kid hanging by their wrist as their parent is beating the crap out of them and screaming at them while while walking down the isle at wal mart. That is beating them. It's not teaching them anything, it's just the parent getting out their frustration. I believe there is a difference between consequences and abuse.


I also agree with BDAB in the respect that the parent should be just that their parent.

 

[TheBeast]

Well I'm glad someone saw it my way to a point. It's not as though I'm walking around naked, bringing home women every night. I have respect, take care of the house, and help out. I just believe that if they, like mine have, told you to pay your own way now, then you have the right to be rules-free to a degree. I pay for everything on my own just about. College, cars and trucks, four wheelers, gas, food, clothes, phone, tv. I'm independant, even though I live at home. Its the way it should be if you live at home. If your like my buddy, and your parents still pay for your truck, college, clothes, and everything else, and all the money you make goes to random useless crap, then yes, they should have some sort of rules.

 

[Capt Jay]

Well I'm glad someone saw it my way to a point. It's not as though I'm walking around naked, bringing home women every night. I have respect, take care of the house, and help out. I just believe that if they, like mine have, told you to pay your own way now, then you have the right to be rules-free to a degree. I pay for everything on my own just about. College, cars and trucks, four wheelers, gas, food, clothes, phone, tv. I'm independant, even though I live at home. Its the way it should be if you live at home. If your like my buddy, and your parents still pay for your truck, college, clothes, and everything else, and all the money you make goes to random useless crap, then yes, they should have some sort of rules.

Your obviously a disrespectful lowlife piece of crap that should be locked away for the good of all society.

Rules for young adults should be set on the ability of the individual. The time to parent is when kids are kids, not when they are grown. If a good job of parenting was done, you reap the benefits of well rounded adults. If you have to set strict rules on your young adults, then a good job was done when they were kids.

 

[Capt Jay]

When I was in high school I played the saxophone in the band. I owned my own instrument that my parents purchased for me. The band instructor told me that I had to switch to a different instrument. I said I didn't want to switch. I went home and told my parents. My father call the school and talked to the band teacher. He told him he didn't spend X amount of dollars on an instrument for me to be told that I had to switch. The band instructor told my dad I had to switch. My dad said that he wasn't going to allow me to switch instruments. The instructor said that he/I had no choice. My father told the band instructor that he would be more than willing to come to the school and discuss it in person and that at the end of that discussion he guaranteed that I wouldn't be switching. My father was right, I didn't switch and the band instructor was always a little nicer to me from that point. I was at home listening to the conversation and laughing my butt off. I then got a lecture on how to deal with problems an that they shouldn't be escalated to that extent and that it was only escalated because he was being unreasonable. It was still funny. I would have loved to see my dad kick the band instructors ass.

 

[Tiollib]

I'm not saying its okay to beat a child. I just hate those people who like to call the cops when you spank your own child for something that they did wrong and are suffering the consequence. Cursing shouldn't be done around kids either. But really sets me off is all the parents that likes to blame other things than themselves for responsibility.Like video games LINK.

 

[TheBeast]

Your obviously a disrespectful lowlife piece of crap that should be locked away for the good of all society.

I hope that was a joke lol.

Responsibility for your own actions, and your childs actions are the first thing I think that should matter. People who don't eat right, try to loose weight when they are 100lbs over their ideal size, but still want to reap the reward of government health care and my tax dollars should just go die. Useless people doing useless things, contributing nothing to society. I'm pro conservation of the government, while being pro responsibility based. Leniency should be given to the person that made a mistake on accident, not on purpose. You drop out of school on purpose, and go through your life saying you weren't given the chance, I will blantently tell you to F off and go die. They choose to not go, it's always been your choice.

Sorry, sad rant. I'm just waiting for all of the overweight lazy bastards to die so we can have a sensible country that promotes health and responsibility.

 

[feellnfroggy]

I just got called an asshole by the parent of one of my daughter's friends because I chewed her out (my daughter) and grounded her for being 5 min late.

Well ..... I am an Asshole but that is besides the point .... My daughter was 5 min late getting home ...... she is chronically late ...... if she was my employee I would fire her for her chronic tardiness...... What pissed me off is this woman is a flake ....... she is one of those that thinks kids have too many rules already so why get upset over 5 min......... its not the 5 min I am mad about ..... it is the chronic lateness .......... I can't not let her go play with this friend because neither one of them have alot of friends to play with........ but it she is supposed to be home at 5 because we eat at 5:30 and she needs to feed the cats at 5......

I would have had a hard time not punching that woman. Not because of how she thinks, so much as, because she undermined your PARENTAL AUTHORITY over your daughter. When you have a child you never get a second chance to raise them right. The way marriages go today alot of times your dont even get the first chance. I think you did the right thing. She maybe cronically tardy today, but tomorrow she will remember dad's lessons. She wasnt 1.5 hrs late was she? The less she is late the less chance someone will hurt her when she thinks 'its no big deal'. Good Job DAD

 

[bigcountry]

If your 20+ years old, and still stand to a curfew, thats stupid.

Secondly, Cursing at your daughter, let alone yelling at her consistently isn't what I'd call great parenting skills. A firm but soft approach to it works just as well, without setting everything she loves about you on fire. She's your daughter, not a damn military lackee. Jesus.

im 20 and i respect my father and his rules no matter how stupid they seem its his house not mine so i do what im told. thats how he raised me now if he said i had to be home at 10 or 930pm id PROLLY say something it would just depend on his reasoning why i think he has only told me to be home that early and that was because we were going to have bad weather and he didnt want me on the roads to late in the middle of the storm. so if obeying my father is stupid then oh wells thats on me

 

[Frank The Tank]

I think parents should be able to beat their kids......... I don't mean punch them in the face, but I still cringe when I'm visiting my dad and I hear him whip his belt off. I don't see a thing wrong with that. If I put a cat in the microwave (which I did when I was 5) I think I deserved some one on one time with a strap of leather. (which I got) and I guarantee you I never did it again.

Frank

 

[Hopman]

im 20 and i respect my father and his rules no matter how stupid they seem its his house not mine so i do what im told. thats how he raised me now if he said i had to be home at 10 or 930pm id PROLLY say something it would just depend on his reasoning why i think he has only told me to be home that early and that was because we were going to have bad weather and he didnt want me on the roads to late in the middle of the storm. so if obeying my father is stupid then oh wells thats on me

I'm 27, & sadly, still live w/ parents. It's out of nessesity as work is hard to come by. I may not pay them, but I'm pretty much the head chef, chief maid, AND butler around the house, espeaclly when dad's out of town on business.

All my parents ask is that they have a clue of what my plans & schedual are, so they aren't worried when the phone rings at midnight.

In fact I love my prents so much I spent all day on Friday getting both their cars in for a NH inspection (done anually & in the birth month of the owner. My Ranger isn't due to Auguest, but both their cars had to be on in January!). It was a PITA, but my dad did tank me for taking care of it, as he was out of town working on a dead line truck.