Anxiety...

[ichthethird]

**** i hate anxiety i always look for something to cope with it

 

[ichthethird]

anxiety is awful...

 

[wordsmyth]

Life is a balancing act of dealing with one's physical, mental-spiritual-emotional, and social health. Those three areas (IMHO) are foundational. It follows that how we address and strengthen those feeds into the areas of work, financial management, recreation, and others.

And they are all integrated; it is impossible to face a challenge in one area and fully protect the others from negative impacts. Likewise, good health in one areas "lifts up" and fosters health in the others.

We all have four basic emotions: sad, glad, mad, and fear. Anxiety is an outgrowth of the fear component.

Certain types and levels of anxiety are normal and healthy, but if anxiety interferes with normal living and positive relationships, it's an unhealthy type. What I'm going to share next is an adaptation of something the late Avery Willis, Jr. presented in an old spiritual growth course called MasterLife. He termed his version as an ACTION plan for dealing with our emotions.

Acknowledge it
Consider its source
Think and pray it through
Identify the healthy path
Own the responsibility to become healthy
Nurture the health you want

Realistically, you have covered the A in the acronym. Simply posting the question in this setting is a start.

After that, considering the source or sources and addressing those is the challenge. From there, the TION part of it is the proactive, take charge of dealing with it section. The part about Own and Nurture is likewise important. Several years back I was reading a book on organizational health, and the author (Thom Rainier) noted that an astoundingly high percentage of people who undergo heart surgery later refuse to stop doing the things that made them unhealthy to begin with. It seems many people say they want health, but are unwilling to implement the changes they need to achieve health...

Finally, below is a link to a version of the Wholeness Wheel. The Wholeness Wheel is an old concept. At the heart of the matter is the self, anchored in rational, healthy values. Like some others on this forum I hold to a healthy self being a regenerate self, that is, a person made whole spiritually through a living, vital relationship with God through faith in Christ. That noted, I also want to say that "religion" can cloud the issue. In terms of spiritual health, "peel the onion back" until the man-made junk is gone, and all that is left is a heart-held faith in Creator God.

Wholeness & Work-Life Balance

The challenge of dealing with anxiety is a life-long journey.

 

[Eddo Rogue]

"I'm getting out of here alive if it kills me"- Homer Simpson.

 

[scotts90ranger]

I fight with things, but I just push myself to try to have a positive outlook on everything. Sure I freak myself out on things, but when I do I don't get anything done... If I just set out to do something it gets done, if I make a minor mistake I just patch it up... I haven't really worked with wood before, never been comfortable with it but this year I built a pole barn mostly on my own other than a few weekends where I had help... Did I get everything perfect? Heck no! Doing the roof we missed a few screws going into the perlins, there were about 10 drips and a few spots where you could see light, when we were doing the roof I had a tube of roof tar and tried to get all the spots but with over 2000 screws it's hard to look at them all... Want real anxiety try getting on a 4/12 slope steel roof in fall/winter!

My projects have been slow going since I got done with the big parts, now I'm back to second guessing myself on how I want to finish the dang thing, arguing with myself on concrete thickness, where the breaker box is going to go, how big to make the utility room/bathroom and office to have a loft over it, where to put plumbing in, where to put the manifold for the floor heating, where to put the wood stove, how when and where to route the drainage for the gutters...

Combine that with everything going on this year I'm going nuts, I have 6 unused vacation days at work this year since everything there seems to rely on me as well, my work stress does NOT help the home situation. To add to things went to a doctor for the first time in over a decade in January which started months of BS, put me on some weightloss stuff, lost 30lb but the stress of this year kicked in and I gained 15 back... There's more than I'm putting above, this year hasn't been good but I keep going or at least trying to.

Anyway, the best advise I can say is just try to stay positive, push the negative side back and just do what you can. Push back the urge do do everything perfect, just try for forward progress, anything you do is more than if you didn't! If it doesn't work out, try something different, if it goes south at least you learned something! I know MANY things that DON'T WORK , but I do find things that do. My brother has WAY worse anxiety than I do, he's a redhead so very stubborn too (after 35 years I know it is not a myth), I'm always pushing him out of his comfort zone in some ways on projects by trying to stay positive but if I don't things don't get done. He gets frustrated very easily but once he gets an idea and sees it works he can go with it but can go sideways very easily.

 

[Mightyfordranger]

I don’t like to talk about my issues. But if someone else finds comfort in feeling they aren’t alone. Then I will speak.

anxiety/depression. I wake up in the morning nervous about driving to work. Thinking about possible scenarios. When my phone goes off I assume the worst. I go throughout the day, wondering wondering if I’ve upset anyone. Constantly worried if I offend anyone. Constant flashbacks to things I’ve said in the past. Overthinking everything I’ve done. Constantly trying to watch what I say. Wondering if people like me or not.

if I sit in silence. My brain wanders into the unknown. I’ve plotted my death. I’ve written the letter in my head. I’ve thought about how other people would feel without me gone. If people would be sad. If people would be happy. Do I mean anything to anyone? I’ve been in my car. And driven to a place in silence. Not even remembering how I got there.

at night I lay in bed. Usually surfing YouTube. Or browsing TRS. I start dozing off. I finally decide to go to sleep. I shut my eyes. And now the brain kicks into overdrive. My chest gets tight. My heart beats. I think about having a heart attack in my sleep. Sometimes I get a song stuck in my head that won’t go away. I think about things I’ve done wrong in my marriage. I think about mistakes I’ve made in my life. I get anxious for work the next day. What happens if I lose my job. I think about my next heart procedure. I think about my parents and there health. I’m planning my moms funeral as shes getting sicker each day.

I admit. My life isn’t as bad as some others. But believe me when I say that I understand anxiety and depression. And I know it can literally eat you alive. It can kill any passion you once had. It can cripple you. It literally slowly kills you. I’m with you my friend. I understand and support you.

I am not far behind you friend...I was doing better before the virus hit. Got up everyday and went to the gym for an hour.
Once they closed the gyms it ruined it. I finally decided to get help. It's gotten so bad I'm in physical pain and shake from time to time. I'm out of options and struggle everyday I try not to drink to to much but it's the only thing that helps. I'd fist fight a bear for a cigarette but I know I'll never be able to quit of I start again.

Anxiety is a bitch. Much like multiple people in this thread, I go through phases of it being almost impossible to get out of bed and go to work. Even more annoying is when I can't even get the motivation to do shit that I WANT to do.

I look at the past and see all the mistakes I've made and dwell on them and the possibilitys my life could of been if I had done something just a little different.. I look into the future and have serious doubts about my ability to be a "normal" person.. about my ability to work enough to meet my ideal level of "success".. My ability to put enough money away to have a decent retirement and not have to work until I'm dead...

My biggest fear is getting cancer. I'm absolutely convinced I'm going to be the 1 out of 4 people that gets it. My luck it'll kill me. I'm a prime target for the shit. My diet has been complete crap for the past 15 years, I've been a heavy smoker for nearly 15, all my hobbies for the same 15 years have had some sort of fume/exhaust/dust shit to them and I never used to wear any sort of mask.. My pa had real bad lungs, an uncle and a cousin died of lung cancer (cousin was younger than I am now)

I'm pretty much convinced I'm not going to grow old. I'll have some horrible painful drawn out death when I'm 32 or something.. Probably right after I have my first child. I've felt this way for.. A long time.. And good old anxiety makes it near impossible for me to go to a doctor and get regular checkups.. Let alone cancer screens.

Apart from that, my biggest single issue is loss and fear about losing someone. I lost someone pretty much every year for quite awhile right when I turned 16.

My dad died in an accident at work.
Best friend died from a lukemia relapse.
Cousin got cancer.
Grandfather was old.
Uncle got cancer.
Friend overdosed.
Another friend overdosed.
Friends mother who I loved dearly choked to death in her sleep.
Another friend's mother who I loved dearly died of liver/kidney failure.

A few of these people..I had meant to reach out to and tell them the Impact that they have had on my life, and how much I appreciated them.. But again.. Anxiety didn't let me. I even swore after the first time I wouldn't let it happen again.. But.. Ya know. Now I live with that.

Life's a bitch man. I'd give a lot to be normal. I'd be able to triple my salary at least.

I destroy myself over the mistakes I've made. I can't stand myself it's almost impossible to spend time with my family. Just because I feel like I don't know them anymore. I understand the idea trying to not be alone cause I tear myself apart with reckless and ruthless abandon...

But I still get up everyday and drag myself into the shop and work for reasons I can't see. Maybe perhaps it's because somewhere I still hold some glimmer of hope for myself. The only thing that pulls me out of it from time to time is the small children in my family nieces and nephews. They really warm my heart.

 

[Mightyfordranger]

Reading this thread knowing I'm not alone, and not being torn apart from you guys really does help. I never would have thought a conversation of this nature on the internet would have gone this way.

 

[Jim Oaks]

I hit rock bottom, got labelled as bipolar, and checked myself in to a mental hospital for a few days back in 2005. Then went through some group therapy sessions for a while. It was later determined that I had suffered a major depression and wasn't bipolar. The State Patrol screwed with me so much that I eventually got diagnosed with PTSD. The finally left me alone in 2018.

I have a retirement, a cut little house, a beautiful girlfriend, 2 kids and a dog that loves me, my TRS-2 Ranger, and you guys. For all the bad I've gone through, I'm blessed.

I surround myself with projects. It gives me a purpose, feelings of accomplishment, and self worth / confidence.

Your not alone.

You know who doesn't have depression and anxiety, an asshole. They don't care about anything. Depression and anxiety is something you create by how you think and deal with things.

Just remember you have friends here.

 

[Mightyfordranger]

Thank you Jim and TRS family. This is the best night iev had in weeks...

 

[Mightyfordranger]

I fight with things, but I just push myself to try to have a positive outlook on everything. Sure I freak myself out on things, but when I do I don't get anything done... If I just set out to do something it gets done, if I make a minor mistake I just patch it up... I haven't really worked with wood before, never been comfortable with it but this year I built a pole barn mostly on my own other than a few weekends where I had help... Did I get everything perfect? Heck no! Doing the roof we missed a few screws going into the perlins, there were about 10 drips and a few spots where you could see light, when we were doing the roof I had a tube of roof tar and tried to get all the spots but with over 2000 screws it's hard to look at them all... Want real anxiety try getting on a 4/12 slope steel roof in fall/winter!

My projects have been slow going since I got done with the big parts, now I'm back to second guessing myself on how I want to finish the dang thing, arguing with myself on concrete thickness, where the breaker box is going to go, how big to make the utility room/bathroom and office to have a loft over it, where to put plumbing in, where to put the manifold for the floor heating, where to put the wood stove, how when and where to route the drainage for the gutters...

Combine that with everything going on this year I'm going nuts, I have 6 unused vacation days at work this year since everything there seems to rely on me as well, my work stress does NOT help the home situation. To add to things went to a doctor for the first time in over a decade in January which started months of BS, put me on some weightloss stuff, lost 30lb but the stress of this year kicked in and I gained 15 back... There's more than I'm putting above, this year hasn't been good but I keep going or at least trying to.

Anyway, the best advise I can say is just try to stay positive, push the negative side back and just do what you can. Push back the urge do do everything perfect, just try for forward progress, anything you do is more than if you didn't! If it doesn't work out, try something different, if it goes south at least you learned something! I know MANY things that DON'T WORK , but I do find things that do. My brother has WAY worse anxiety than I do, he's a redhead so very stubborn too (after 35 years I know it is not a myth), I'm always pushing him out of his comfort zone in some ways on projects by trying to stay positive but if I don't things don't get done. He gets frustrated very easily but once he gets an idea and sees it works he can go with it but can go sideways very easily.

Don't let him get to far from you and your family. It's good that your there to nedge him in different directions. From someone who can relate to him it's greatly appreciated.