i stopped by and visited a buddy of mine that works in a body shop today and he gave me the same suggestion you just did. starting with a low flow of water, start low and work your way up. with this method, i made progress!
refering back to my edited picture on page one, the leak in the middle is indeed coming from that body seam, where the corner and back of the cab meet, below the level of the bed:
its sort of hard to see, but there are two little bubbles in the body sealer along the seam and water is slowly seeping in right there. im hoping that will be an easy fix by simply smashing some RTV into the holes from the inside (i may lay a bead along the entire length of the seam while im at it, just in case).
im still not 100% on the big leak on the right (the one that drips constantly), but i have it narrowed down to the top half of this body seam:
it is definitely not the rear window and definitely not anything inside the door jam (although that might be leaking too, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it). im going to take ricks advice and use urethane seam sealer along the entire length of that seam, then touch it up with touch up paint. ill keep you guys posted if my repaires have any effect!