Stupidest thing you've ever heard...

[Hopman]

Autopsies are not to be performed on an out patient basis.

I've already used it my my sig.

a friend of mine once tryed to trick me by saying, "Hey, did you know that auto shop in ---- is looking for someone to change sparkplugs on diesels"

People like that don't belong anywhere NEAR an auto shop, let alone a parts store. They're probably looking for blinker fluid, muffler bearings, and sailboat fuel!

 

[cdotson86]

Officer :I pulled you over for running that stop sign back there.

Nameless: Im sorry officer, I was talking on the cell phone.

Officer : *sigh* Have you ever been pulled over before?

Nameless : Yes sir, I got pulled over for running a stop sign.

Officer : Please sign here.

 

['99 EB Explorer]

From consumer reports:

"buy imports because they're more reliable"

'nuff said

 

[7.5L_STX]

my friends girlfriend always listens to us say dumb and funny shit, so every now and then shell try it and she completely butchers it.

the one i remember the most was "your acting so upshitscreek right now" she said it wrong and used it in the wrong context, i never laughed so hard..

 

[daniel3507]

In a very excited and proud voice my friend was telling me how he cleaned his air filter and was able to see straight through it. When i asked him how it was going to filter anything all he came up with was it would flow better.

 

[86isuzu]

My ex-girlfriend once stated: "Kansas isn't a state". She was completely serious.

 

[adsm08]

I've already used it my my sig.



People like that don't belong anywhere NEAR an auto shop, let alone a parts store. They're probably looking for blinker fluid, muffler bearings, and sailboat fuel!

still one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. that was a great thread.

 

[Hopman]

My ex-girlfriend once stated: "Kansas isn't a state". She was completely serious.

In one sense she's right. Kansas is also a band.

Kansas IS a state AND the people there are friendly & hard-working. When I drove long-haul for a while, my trainer was from a little town called Garfield, KS. It was so small that if you parked a semi in town, the back end would be beyond the town limits!

 

[bullitproofranger]

I've already used it my my sig.



People like that don't belong anywhere NEAR an auto shop, let alone a parts store. They're probably looking for blinker fluid, muffler bearings, and sailboat fuel!

Well he actually knows his way under the hood pretty well, he was just trying to see if I would be quick enough to catch it.(P.S. He did pull the blinker fluid thing too)

And something I forgot about, apparently Pat Roberts (wierdo from the 700 club) sayed something to the effect of when haiti was being attacked by napolean they supposedly made a deal with the devil to help defeat napolean, and this haitian earthquake recently is a punishment from god.That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard

 

[mn_smokeater]

"this is gunna be cool man dude it will rock hard"
the words uttered by two wise people as they filled up a poorly oxy/acetylene welded box with gas and then somehow finding a way to convert it into a frag grenade as it detonated filling the shop with chunks of metal. No one got hurt thank god...well they got the hell beat out of them later that day by a few of the good ol boys.

 

[Original_Ranger84]

SO I went with a friend to a friends house to stay the night... the next morning i got up cause I had to be somewhere, Its a nice neighborhood so i got a ticket on my window for having one of my tires on the grass and the truck being too muddy. (actually it was a warning, the next one would be a ticket). anyways looking down I notice blue toyota was written in make and model... I got mad... put it on my friends window and left. later that day I met up with my friend again and he was like I noticed the ticket you got.

He had told his friend that I was probably more pissed off about my truck being called a toyota then the ticket itself. lol .... that did not have one stupid saying in it at all... whoops. I'll think of one they occur on a regular basis in college.

 

[7.5L_STX]

apparently Pat Roberts (wierdo from the 700 club) sayed something

He SAYED Something???

FAIL!

 

[bullitproofranger]

He SAYED Something???

FAIL!

OOPS!!! Must have been my inner retard talking...

 

[7.5L_STX]

OOPS!!! Must have been my inner retard talking...

lol, i do that a lot too.

 

[exbass94]

If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.