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Okay guys & gals, a little background on this joke before you read it.
I work with a local community theater group in Concord, NH. I'm not an actor, but I do a lot of the important backstage stuff such as building sets & props, rigging lights, and so forth.
Here's a link: http://www.communityplayersofconcord.org/
I was in the middle of a show last month when I got inspired.
Some of these are inside jokes, but you might get a chuckle or three.
Signs You’ve Been Involved with the Players & Community Theater Too Long…
1. 85% of your wardrobe is black. The rest is t-shirts & sweatshirts from shows you’ve worked on.
2. You have show blacks, painting blacks, dress blacks, work blacks, ushering blacks, and a black Lab.
3. At the start of production week, you family plans on not seeing you until Sunday night and not waking you up until Monday afternoon.
4. You’ve named your pets and kids after famous actors, directors, or writers.
5. Working on three shows at once is a “light” load for you.
6. All the lights in your house have blue gels on them.
7. Your house has no 4th wall.
8. You have an old par can for a mail box.
9. You can find your way to the Audi and the Studio blindfolded, but need a GPS to get home.
10. You yell “BLACKOUT” after sex.
11. Your tool kit consists of gaff tape, duct tape, a Leatherman, a Maglite, and safety pins. If it can’t be fixed using those, it isn’t worth fixing.
12. You’ve gone to the Audi & studio so much you’ve driven there automatically even when there wasn’t a show going on.
13. You have a tattoo of the Players logo.
14. You come home smelling like paint & sawdust at the end of the day. The odd thing is that you work at a law firm.
15. The boss says you have 30 minutes for lunch. “Thank you 30,” is your response.
16. Your significant other finds the smell of sawdust & greasepaint sexy.
17. You’ll drive into Boston to get a prop for a show, but have pizza delivered from a place down the street.
18. Hell Week is your favorite part of the show.
19. You feel naked without your Maglite and Leatherman on your belt or a tech script in your back pocket.
20. All your picture frames and lights have safety cables on them.
21. You can dance like a prima ballerina in 6” heels and you’re a guy.
22. People don’t recognize you without a show shirt or blacks on.
23. When you built your house, all you cared about was how it looked from the audience’s point of view.
24. There’s glow tape on your front steps.
25. You think nothing of spending 50 hours on something that will be used once and seen for 15 minutes from one side.
26. You met your significant other through a theater group.
27. Your fists are named “Comedy” and “Tragedy.”
28. You have Gershwin’s bubble gum card.
29. The floors of your house are painted matte black.
30. All your friends either work or are involved with some aspect of theater.
31. You’ve “barrowed” the light board and a few 26 degree lamps to do your Christmas lights.
32. You’ve driven the truck for so many shows that you automatically back into the loading dock any time you’re at the studio.
33. You need antidepressants at the end of the season.
34. There are props or set pieces you’ve saved from 10 or more shows decorating the walls.
35. You have worn stage makeup to the bar after the show and not realized it until the next morning.
36. You have SO many theater books, you’ve had to have bookshelves made out of 1” plate steel and I-beams put under the floors to support the weight.
37. During production week, more of your furniture is at the Audi than at home.
38. You are known more for dropping tools on people than your work in a show.
39. You have a Source 4 for a reading lamp.
40. You’re at the studio so much you have your mail delivered there.
41. You know the direct isn’t the one who has the power. It’s the Stage Manager who’s God, and the techies are her disciples.
42. You end up in the hospital after a heart attack and all you think about is the rehearsal time you’re going to miss.
43. When you don’t come home at night, your significant other just calls the studio or the Audi.
50. You’ve considered leaving a sleeping bag & cot at the studio on more than one occasion.
51. You don’t recognize your house in the daylight.
52. You remember when the props room was empty.
53. Just for fun, you’ve translated Shakespeare’s entire works into Klingon, Na’vi and Elvish.
54. You use your studio key more than your house key.
55. The director asks for a replica of an AMC Gremlin and a four-foot wide birthday cake. For some reason, you don’t find it weird.
56. You’ve had so many tools dropped on you that unless it’s a jackhammer or a running saw, it doesn’t bother you anymore.
57. You’ve had a “showmantic” relationship.
58. Somebody says a random line & you automatically know what show (or shows) it was from.
59. When your significant other asks where you’ve been all night, you yell “LINE!!!!”
60. You think life is that annoying time between shows.
61. You know more than one way to skin a flat.
62. You’ve never watched a show from the audience.
63. You’ve directed your goldfish in a production of Hamlet.
64. A third of a show’s budget goes back to you as reimbursements.
65. You come home with makeup on your shirt and your significant other assumes it’s from a show.
66. You refer to your furniture as “set dressing.”
67. Your head feels funny without an intercom on.
68. You have a favorite shop drill. You even named it.
69. You have pleasant dreams about being on stage in your underwear.
70. You’ve taken the time to read this list.
71. You WROTE this list & have sent it to all your theater friends.
I work with a local community theater group in Concord, NH. I'm not an actor, but I do a lot of the important backstage stuff such as building sets & props, rigging lights, and so forth.
Here's a link: http://www.communityplayersofconcord.org/
I was in the middle of a show last month when I got inspired.
Some of these are inside jokes, but you might get a chuckle or three.
Signs You’ve Been Involved with the Players & Community Theater Too Long…
1. 85% of your wardrobe is black. The rest is t-shirts & sweatshirts from shows you’ve worked on.
2. You have show blacks, painting blacks, dress blacks, work blacks, ushering blacks, and a black Lab.
3. At the start of production week, you family plans on not seeing you until Sunday night and not waking you up until Monday afternoon.
4. You’ve named your pets and kids after famous actors, directors, or writers.
5. Working on three shows at once is a “light” load for you.
6. All the lights in your house have blue gels on them.
7. Your house has no 4th wall.
8. You have an old par can for a mail box.
9. You can find your way to the Audi and the Studio blindfolded, but need a GPS to get home.
10. You yell “BLACKOUT” after sex.
11. Your tool kit consists of gaff tape, duct tape, a Leatherman, a Maglite, and safety pins. If it can’t be fixed using those, it isn’t worth fixing.
12. You’ve gone to the Audi & studio so much you’ve driven there automatically even when there wasn’t a show going on.
13. You have a tattoo of the Players logo.
14. You come home smelling like paint & sawdust at the end of the day. The odd thing is that you work at a law firm.
15. The boss says you have 30 minutes for lunch. “Thank you 30,” is your response.
16. Your significant other finds the smell of sawdust & greasepaint sexy.
17. You’ll drive into Boston to get a prop for a show, but have pizza delivered from a place down the street.
18. Hell Week is your favorite part of the show.
19. You feel naked without your Maglite and Leatherman on your belt or a tech script in your back pocket.
20. All your picture frames and lights have safety cables on them.
21. You can dance like a prima ballerina in 6” heels and you’re a guy.
22. People don’t recognize you without a show shirt or blacks on.
23. When you built your house, all you cared about was how it looked from the audience’s point of view.
24. There’s glow tape on your front steps.
25. You think nothing of spending 50 hours on something that will be used once and seen for 15 minutes from one side.
26. You met your significant other through a theater group.
27. Your fists are named “Comedy” and “Tragedy.”
28. You have Gershwin’s bubble gum card.
29. The floors of your house are painted matte black.
30. All your friends either work or are involved with some aspect of theater.
31. You’ve “barrowed” the light board and a few 26 degree lamps to do your Christmas lights.
32. You’ve driven the truck for so many shows that you automatically back into the loading dock any time you’re at the studio.
33. You need antidepressants at the end of the season.
34. There are props or set pieces you’ve saved from 10 or more shows decorating the walls.
35. You have worn stage makeup to the bar after the show and not realized it until the next morning.
36. You have SO many theater books, you’ve had to have bookshelves made out of 1” plate steel and I-beams put under the floors to support the weight.
37. During production week, more of your furniture is at the Audi than at home.
38. You are known more for dropping tools on people than your work in a show.
39. You have a Source 4 for a reading lamp.
40. You’re at the studio so much you have your mail delivered there.
41. You know the direct isn’t the one who has the power. It’s the Stage Manager who’s God, and the techies are her disciples.
42. You end up in the hospital after a heart attack and all you think about is the rehearsal time you’re going to miss.
43. When you don’t come home at night, your significant other just calls the studio or the Audi.
50. You’ve considered leaving a sleeping bag & cot at the studio on more than one occasion.
51. You don’t recognize your house in the daylight.
52. You remember when the props room was empty.
53. Just for fun, you’ve translated Shakespeare’s entire works into Klingon, Na’vi and Elvish.
54. You use your studio key more than your house key.
55. The director asks for a replica of an AMC Gremlin and a four-foot wide birthday cake. For some reason, you don’t find it weird.
56. You’ve had so many tools dropped on you that unless it’s a jackhammer or a running saw, it doesn’t bother you anymore.
57. You’ve had a “showmantic” relationship.
58. Somebody says a random line & you automatically know what show (or shows) it was from.
59. When your significant other asks where you’ve been all night, you yell “LINE!!!!”
60. You think life is that annoying time between shows.
61. You know more than one way to skin a flat.
62. You’ve never watched a show from the audience.
63. You’ve directed your goldfish in a production of Hamlet.
64. A third of a show’s budget goes back to you as reimbursements.
65. You come home with makeup on your shirt and your significant other assumes it’s from a show.
66. You refer to your furniture as “set dressing.”
67. Your head feels funny without an intercom on.
68. You have a favorite shop drill. You even named it.
69. You have pleasant dreams about being on stage in your underwear.
70. You’ve taken the time to read this list.
71. You WROTE this list & have sent it to all your theater friends.
