Employee Contract... ya'll will love this...

[lil_Blue_Ford]

So this contract was given to my boss and was presented in all seriousness by the employee. He really wanted my boss to sign it and agree to it and he really did quit when my boss laughed at him for it...

Enjoy the read... it was always good for a laugh among the rest of the crew... (FYI, we do residential concrete construction). Only recently was I able to get my hands on the contract and get it scanned in so I could share it with others...

 

[Toms01PSD]

My favorite part is the denote at the end..."employer will not receive employee handbook

 

[Tony Raine]

haha, you left his name visible on the first page. lets find his address and mail him job offers that fit his "requirements" perfectly


or just post this on pirate.......

 

[Gotta_gofast]

If he put half as much effort into his job as he did in that "contract" he'd be working right now! lol

 

[Shran]

Holy crap, section 5 is absolutely priceless. "people considered persons" haha

 

[Beanmachine7000]

Wish I could get my boss to agree to that, haha...

 

[GBranger04]

"N. Doing work not justified by employee"
"V. employee not feeling 100 percent"

i'd sure love to sell those two to my boss.

 

[Sevensecondsuv]

What does that guy think this is?.........................................................














































France?

 

[Twizzler09]

This. Is. GOLDEN.

oh man

 

[86ford]

I am going to have to read this again when I am not so tired. I think the person in question should quit the blue collar lifestyle and become a lawyer. He is full of bullshit and honestly believes its true, is he a congressman? Senator? President?

86

 

[snake]

A. tempature. He shoulda used a spellchecker...

 

[Original_Ranger84]

Either he's a dumbass, or this is old... I'm really leaning toward the dumbass part though. In the 3rd picture(page?) He says it starts Jan 1, 2001... Quit living in the past.

HaH this thing makes no sense! We want as much money as we want but christmas bonuses are optional...? He must be on some pretty strong stuff.

Thank you lil_Blue!

 

[CJREX]

I'd like to be able to go "inactive" whenever___________

There are too many good ones in his A-Z list, ie, hunger, thirst, start too early, work too late. But I particularly like the ability to go inactive in order to "Reflect on ones actions".

If someone in today's job market is actually trying to get a prospective employer to sign this, they are truly an idiot.

 

[Will]

What does a .12% pay raise amount to? Eighteen cents an hour. Seven bucks a week.

"Thank you. I can go to the movies. By myself." From Trading Places

 

[rjppunk]

I think the point here is that he can collect his pay in advance every 48 hours with as much overtime as he wants