The Best Automobile Ever Created.

[heptofite]

saw this on another ranger site.

The Best Automobile Ever
The Ford Ranger

Dan Brooks
Crave Online​

When we were kids, we all wanted Ferraris—Testa Rossas, because it was the eighties and we figured that was the best way to impress Vanna White. Later, when we were old enough to have some vague sense of patriotism, we wanted Corvettes. We didn’t know yet that the Corvette was the international signal for extended boyhood and shortened manhood, or that Trent Van Gilder would rip the trans pan off his Stingray peeling out of Blockbuster and subsequently try to pay for the repairs by selling a small amount of meth to an undercover cop. We all got very interested in durability after that.

My point, besides trying not to grow up in Iowa, is that arguments about the best car are invariably set in places where none of us will actually drive. I have no interest in your Aston Martin, your Lotus, your Porsche 911, for the same reason that I am not interested in learning to play polo. I do not want an Escalade, because I do not want to get keyed every time I park in front of Whole Foods. The best car should be one that you actually want to drive to work every day—that you can maybe live in for a while after you break up with your girlfriend, that you can watch fireworks from/vomit out of on the Fourth of July. By that metric, I submit to you that the Ford Ranger is the best automobile ever made.

From where I am sitting, I can see my 2003 Ranger XLT waiting patiently in the driveway. It has crossed the country twice, once with me and once with its previous owner, my friend Spencer. Spencer drinks. In addition to driving it into the back of an asphalt roller in LA, he took my Ranger at high speeds through a forest of birch trees in New Mexico, across a cactus patch in Texas that also turned out to be a jagged rocks patch and, very briefly, into the Atlantic Ocean. Personally, all I ever hit with it was a Dairy Queen.

After 93,000 miles of this kind of smash-mouth driving, my Ranger has asked of me exactly one new fuel pump. I replaced the right headlight myself, which was roughly as difficult as installing a ceiling fan. Like a girlfriend raised by stepfathers, you can beat the hell out of a Ford Ranger and it will only treat you better.

Also like a girl raised by stepfathers, a Ranger is fun. The standard-package XL and XLT are rear-wheel drive, which makes driving with an empty bed in snow, rain or high humidity an exciting experiment in rotational physics. The best solution to this problem is to fill the bed with coolers, fireworks, small-bore rifles and three to six friends, then take it out on a loose gravel road to enjoy the improved handling.

You might argue that the advantages I’m describing here are simply the advantages of trucks. The Ranger, however, avoids many of the problems of its class. Unlike the larger Dodge Ram or the gargantuan Ford F Series, you can parallel park a Ranger. The Ranger also gets better mileage. At 27 highway and 22 city, the 2010 Ranger ranks best in its class for fuel economy. And at $17,820 MSRP—compared to $21,510 for the Ram and $31,355 for the F-350—a normal man with a job might actually pay for his Ranger before he drives it into a tree.

Sure, you can’t pull a prefab home with it, but therein lies its genius. The Ford Ranger is a truck for the man who doesn’t necessarily need a truck. Unless it’s moving day, most of the work I do in my Ranger—hauling my laptop to the coffee place, hauling myself to the bar—could be accomplished in a Honda Accord. I defy you, though, to hang your arm out the window of your Accord while yelling along with Hank Williams. The Ranger is the pickup truck of choice, not of need. In that capacity, it does exactly what we want our cars to do: send a clear message.

No one will go home with you because they found out you drive a Ford Ranger. It does not comfortably accommodate children, although it is ideally suited for a dog. It is an automobile for men who are going somewhere, who plan to encounter rough terrain on the way, and who are primarily concerned with ensuring that they arrive. The Ford Ranger is the best way for a man alone to move the farthest distance possible through the world. In that way, it’s what we all had in mind when we were kids, even if we didn’t know it at the time.

 

[MountainMike]

 

[Xandor]

Love it

 

[country0001]

Like a girlfriend raised by stepfathers, you can beat the hell out of a Ford Ranger and it will only treat you better.

That's funny. I don't care who you are.

 

[Viva*the*Ranger]

Like a girlfriend raised by stepfathers, you can beat the hell out of a Ford Ranger and it will only treat you better.

That's funny. I don't care who you are.

Agreed Ha ha.

"Also like a girl raised by stepfathers, a Ranger is fun."



Nice little write up. Makes me miss my ranger!

 

[JohnnyO]

Excellent.

 

[straycat]

Rangers are cool but I had so many other cars that have never broke down on me either. My 86 Subaru 3 door (hatch back) was a great ride. Got it from my mom and dad in 93. They bought it new and my wife and I were going to buy a third car and the dadster said to take the subie. It only had 34,000 miles on it.

I gave it to my neice in 2002. She has been using it for collage and work up in Idaho and just last month she gave it to her best girl friend who loves it. The paint is getting faded a bit now she said and it has a little over 200,00 miles on it and the a/c is still blowing cold. She has kept up the service on it and put on a second set of tires since she has had it. She had the brakes reworked last year. First time for the brakes she said. We had the brakes gone over before we gave it to her. She said the power windows still work perfect. and the tranny shifts perfect (auto)....hmmmmm...maybe I can get that back from her friend???

 

[85_Ranger4x4]

They are nice to park and fun to drive... but that is about as far as mine gets me.

Reliabilty and milage... mine is lacking.

 

[mn_smokeater]

good stuff!!

 

[Hopman]

My '94 (after surviving through 4 other owners) has fit me like no other. I've driven mine cross country (last August moving my sister from NH to Indianapolis), hauling all types of stuff in the bed (anything from bags of mulch to stage flats and a vintage stove), and in all types of conditions (a rare 100 degree day in NH to -20.)

I love my truck.

 

[cody93]

pppffttt, no room for the kids, bs, why ya think we got cargo beds! for when they fight to much and wont shutup!

 

[jhammel85]

 

[bcost882]

i ran my truck cross the desert haha i think i have done everything it says in there with my truck

 

[Mark_88]

pppffttt, no room for the kids, bs, why ya think we got cargo beds! for when they fight to much and wont shutup!

I thought that was illegal...that's why we have a roof rack option in Canada...as long as they're strapped in and have helmets...we're legal

Nice article btw...

 

[3.0ranger1227]

This article is great. And almost everything is true

What site did this come from?