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Bush Deploys Vowels to Bosnia


Southern_Trendkill

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U.S. Military - Active
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Jan 18, 2009
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City
Jacksonville, FL
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1961, 2010
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Manual
Washington (AP) - BUSH DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA

Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients.

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Bush announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.

"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Bush said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say `Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour."

The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Movement by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels.

"I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Bush, please send my poor, wretched family just one 'E' Please."

Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream."

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L's, S's and T's.
 
I got it from this site - http://www.strategypage.com/humor/default.asp

It's got a ton of hilarious military jokes. Take this one for example -

_________________________________________________________________
President Bush's Adopt a Detainee Program

Dear Liberal:

Thank you for your recent whiney letter criticizing the treatment of the Taliban and El Quieda detainees being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

As part of the Administration's Liberal Re-training Program, you'll be pleased to learn that the Administration has decided to place one detainee under your exclusive care. Your detainee is scheduled to be delivered to your personal residence on Monday. The detainee is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you strongly recommended in your letter of admonishment. It will be necessary that you hire your own caretakers. We will also conduct weekly inspections, of course, to assure that your detainee is actually being cared for in the manner you personally prescribed.

His meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest using menus that do not require utensils. While he does bite, the rabies test were negative, although he does have a bad case of body lice that we haven't completely remedied.

Although he is sociopathic and very psychotic, we do welcome your promised efforts to overcome that "attitudinal problem" with your promised counseling and home schooling.

He's extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or light bulb. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these proficiencies at your next bridge party. He also has the ability to make a variety of lethal bombs from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, notwithstanding that it may conflict with your moral values or disrupt your maid's daily routine.

Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee's cage. "Does not play well with others".

Your detainee generally bathes quarterly, with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and washes his clothes simultaneously. That should help with your water bill.

You take good care of our detainee now.

George Dubia' B.
 

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