Not sure what you mean by "popping" a relay.
There's two parts to a relay: an electromagnet coil and a switch. In this case, if you put 12V across the coil, it makes a magnetic field, which moves a piece that closes the switch.
To test things, take the relay out of the socket. If you measure the resistance across that coil, that is, between pin #85 and 86 on the relay, you should measure about 50-200 ohms. If it's open or infinite or over-range, you've fried the coil. This would likely be caused by hooking up something in series with the coil and trying to draw power through it. This might be what you mean by "popping" the relay.
The other thing that could happen is that the switch contacts get fried. If you try and draw too much current through the switch part, it could make a big arc which could either blast metal off the contacts so they don't make contact any more, or weld them together so the switch never opens. These relays are rated for pretty high current handling, like 20-60 Amps, so the only thing that's really likely to overload the contacts that much is a dead short to ground.
To check the switch portion, test the resistance between pin #30 and 87 on the relay, it should read open or infinite resistance or over-range. If those two tests measure correct, then hook up pin #86 to battery+, pin #85 to battery- (it should click as soon as you complete those connections), and measure the resistance between between pin #30 and #87 again; it should now read close to 0. If those 3 values measure out correctly, then the relay is working properly.
Next, hook the battery back up (leave the relay out of the socket still) and make sure your battery terminals are clean and tight. Measure the voltage between the socket connector for #30 (yellow wire) and ground (use the negative battery terminal or a clean bare spot on the body or engine when I say "ground); it should be 12V (battery voltage). If it's 0V, then you've probably blown Fuse Link L in the yellow wire. Test the resistance between socket connector #87 (red wire) and ground, and it should be a couple dozen ohms minimum. If it's open, you've probably blown Fuse Link M in the red wire. If it reads close to 0 ohms (or whatever you get when you touch the probes together directly) then you've got a short to ground somewhere. However, if you have a short, I would expect a fuse to blow long before you fry the relay contacts.
Measure the resistance between socket connector #85 (black wire with a light-green stripe) and ground, it should read really close to 0 ohms, as that terminal should be hooked to ground. If not, you've got a broken wire or a rusty/dirty ground connection. Turn the key to "run" (remember, the relay is still out of the socket) and measure the voltage on socket connector #86 (red wire with a light-green stripe); it should be 12V. If it's not, then you've got a bad ignition switch, or ignition switch connector, or you've blown Fuse Link E in the yellow wire to the ignition switch.
Let us know if you find anything different than the expected values on any of those measurements, and we can proceed from there.
P.S. If you register on
www.autozone.com, they'll let you access their service manuals for any vehicle. They're not quite as thorough as the factory service manuals, but they're better than a Chiltons or Haynes. That's where I'm getting the wiring diagrams and wire colors I'm referencing above.