Here's another gross bar joke...
These two guys get off of work on a Friday and they got nothing to do. The one man says to the other "Lets go bar hoppin!" The other man thinks this is an excellent idea. After further discussion they both whip out their wallets only to discover they have six bucks between the two. They're half way home and the car is quiet because both guys are bummed about their situation. One man, however, is determined to come up with a plan so that they can drink tonight. After ten minutes of silence in the car, the man shouts "I got it! I got an idea." The other man turns to him with a curious look on his face, "well, what cha got?"
The man says "All right, hear me out before you form any opinions. We'll use our six bucks and run to the grocery store to buy a sausage. After we've scored some drinks from the bar, I'll unzip my pants and slide the sausage through. You get down on your knees and suck it. Then the owner will run out shouting and kick us out!"
The other man was a little "iffy". But they go to the bar anyway. After a couple drinks, the man has loosened up a bit and sure enough, they proceed with the plan. Not even a minute later the owner of the bar runs out cursing while swinging a broom. "We did it!" they both shout. And to the next bar they go.
These guys are loaded. There were 5 bars on the street and they were at the last of 'em. Barely able to talk, the man turns to the other and says "I've been sucking the sausage the whole time. How about I put the sausage in MY pants and you pretend to blow ME this time." The other man looks at him with great confusion. Then he puts his arm around the man and says with a smile "Bud, I left the sausage at the first bar!"
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