Toyota, according to Uncyclopedia

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http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Toyota

“Toyota... "Moving Nowhere"”
~ Toyota on Toyota

“world bes ca”
~ Asians on Toyota

“Toyota: Our Cars Keep Going, Going, Going, Going, Going, Going, GONE!”
~ Potential 2010 Advertising Slogan based on stuck accelerator pedals

“The new Prius keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and going to no end. There's no slowing it down! ”
~ 2010 Marketing campaign following "software" glitches on the Prius braking system

“Hey here's an idea, Lets make a car that runs on battery's and uses more fuel then a BMW M5 and creates more pollution then 100 Giant cargo ships”
~ Toyota's Lead Engineer, to Aikiro Toyota (CEO) on Toyota Prius


Tatoonie (A long, long time ago)

Anakin Skywalker was at his junk workshop, and decided that he would build something that the ageing Yoda could use to go around places because he was getting too old, such as the lavatory. Besides, Yoda's birthday was coming up. As a result, Anakin Skywalker built the first car. A tag, hanging from the side said the words "To yoda." When Yoda died, he gave, in his will, the car to Luke Skywalker, knowing he would use it wisely. Luke started up a company with the words "To yoda" at the front of every car, and the company became a multiplanitary company. When the third death star blew up, which does not appear in any films, a car flew out of the galaxy, into the Milky Way Galaxy, and onto Japan on planet earth.

 

[Ranger Sport Honduras]

Toyota's trademark is the total lack of quality control. This trademark applies to many of Toyota's vehicles. For instance, there was a 1994 incident where all Toyota Camrys and Shitaki Hauler pick-up models were made of unpainted tin.
This is a 1994 Toyota Shitaki Hauler. Note severe rust.
These uses of poor materials have caused the bodies of vehicles to completely fall apart as people are driving them, as well as the many other low-quality Toyota vehicles, such as the Australian Toyota Coroner (often called Toyota Corroder) which also suffer from this "cancer." This amazing ability to rust-apart now comes standard in the Toyota Corrosion (formerly the Corolla).

However, despite the said quality, most people use their Toyotas as battletanks and APCs.

Current Toyota Models in production

* Corrosion - compact sedan (formerly the "Crapolla")
* Preeus - a completely-plastic Hybrid POS
* Barackobamawashereatron - a car made completely of pure energy, milk, and sugar cane. Invented named, and then donated, by Barack Obama.
* Anus - a microcar for coprophiliacs (formerly the "Yaris")
* Fag4 - An SUV for queers. (formerly the "****4")
* Avalard - A luxury sedan....only if you're a douchebag. (formerly the "Avaleet")
* Camera - a mid-size sedan that takes photos whenever you're in a wreck
* Camry - car which produces thick clouds of smoke, named after the Japanese word for smoke "kemuri", the word the lead engineer screamed in panic as he coughed away when vast amounts of smoke billowed out of the prototype's engine when her forgot to install the exhaust.
* Celibate - A sports car that refuses to have sex at all.
* Jaap - a blatant Japanese rip-off of the Jeep with sex
* Tacomah - full size pickups for men with no balls
* Tercellphone - a poor excuse of a sports car which you can use to make phone calls
* Tercellophane - much like the Tercellphone, except this one has cellophane body panels
* Cresspychicken - A mid-size luxury car made out of crispy chicken.
* Hilux - A pickup truck that is ideal for mounting guns
* Your mom's car.
* Yourass - Tiny shitbox that looks like your ass.

[edit] Overview of Toyota's CEO

* Name: A kilo of Toyotas (Akio Toyoda)
* Gender: In Between at The Moment.
* Age: 55.5 as you would probably have to be that old to approve the designs of most Toyota vehicles.
* Blood type: Drinks whatever he can get his hands on.
* Car: He doesn't drive as it's rumored he has the ability to teleport. Again, you must not understand a thing about a car to build a Toyota.


Drifting

The drifting of Toyota vehicles would usually end with them falling apart before they make it to the end of the race. Toyota tried to remedy the problem with the creation of the AE86. Unfortunately, halfway through designing the car, they forgot what they wanted the car to do, so they quickly finished the car then went out do some karaoke. Ultimately the car was given the engine from an electric toothbrush and the chassis of a shopping trolley.

While the electric toothbrush motor didn't help, the shopping cart chassis did, because it meant the car went everywhere sideways. And so, through swings and roundabouts, Toyota got it right.

The car quickly became the darling of people who learned everything they know about motorsports from Initial D (a ricer promotional series).