Married? Joint or Seperate Checking Accounts?

[MrE_Powers]

she pays the bills,usually on line. she tells me what bank i put money in. i have a set amount i spend every week. i use cash for all purchases.

 

[Jim Oaks]

Me and the wife keep separate accounts. We split the bills equally according to income, and then we know how much fun money we have. She is into photography and I am into bikes so you can only imagine how pricey that gets. It would be a battle royal if the money got pooled because one of us would go beyond the prudent limit. She would have that IR camera she wants or I would have another supermoto.

DITTO!

My first wife and I had a joint account. I think that's what young couples living the American dream think you're suppose to do. She ended up working part time and on and off after the kids. Most of the money put in there came from me, but she moaned about what I spent it on.

Enter marriage #2......

Vanessa is very independant. She want's to contribute. We have seperate accounts. She split our rent, and then some bills she pays and some I pay. I try to pay more bills since I have more income. Otherwise I'd be left with extra spending cash and she'd be broke. This gives us freedom with our money. We don't have to tell each other what we're spending our money on, and don't feel like we're spending the other persons money.

If you put it in one pot and you or her want to buy something, you'll have to tell the other so that person knows how much was taken out so they don't overspend. Vanessa and I simply make sure the bills are paid. After that, we can spend our money on whatever we want and don't have to ask or tell the other.

Remember that finances are a major cause of marital arguements. If you work overtime to buy something you've had your eye on, when that money hits your 'joint' account, your money becomes 'our' money and she'll have things that she thinks you guys need the money for more. Like spending 'our' money for new curtains for 'our' home.

I'd seriously look at your income, determine how much each of you are bringing in, and then split the bills so it's equal in relation to your income. Have seperate accounts so you have your own money to spend without arguing over it.

 

[odie1969]

I'm not married yet. but we have been living together 7yrs(wow that is scary it hasn't felt that long) But we have always had seperate accounts, with access to one another if anything ever happens. We also keep seperate Credit cards. This seems to work for us every month we know what bills are due and she will usally write the checks and transfers money into her account from mine. and if we ever want anything together we will split the cost and if I ever want anything for myself I can go and get it if I have my money. I have come to find she Usally pays for more of the bills to help me out do to the fact she make a bt-lot more than I ever will. Hey dose anybody know if the guy gets alimony if he makes less??? Just kinding, she makes enough to get good lawyer and smart enough to hide money.

 

[JohnnyO]

First marriage, joint bank accounts.
Second marriage, separate bank accounts and a pre-nup. Live and learn.

 

[97ranger xlt]

for us it's very simple, she has her own account, i have mine... and i get to pay ALL the bills

she thinks that system works very well

 

[97ranger4x4]

My ex girlfriend told me this when we first started dating. Whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine.

Acctually we only were together for a few months and we eached worked so it wasnt like I was giving her money, but I always paid for our dates, as it should be. It was just funny when she told me that. Needless to say I tried the same line on my current GF, and she didnt laugh. But she always says it to me now!!!

 

[Will]

Well, not any marriage or relationship is the same. Just figure it out.

We have all our eggs in the same basket. Actually, since we got engaged we have done so--and we lived in different countries for a time. We do not use the word "I". We're the same person in what we do. To me a family is a business, not two businesses.

I was in charge of the finances when we were young and poor--we did not start out young and poor, we became that way when I quit my military career and my wife headed to grad school. I carried a ledger around with me and wrote down every expense and knew every dime we had. I still have the book.

I'll tell you, and I told you before--when you're young and poor you have to act young and poor. You have to both sit down and agree that you are a team and that you are young and poor. If you can't get that agreement then you will have money problems. I did not make car payments when I was young and poor. I did not own a house when I was young and poor. We occasionally ate out, went to plays and such, went to the library. We didn't have expensive hobbies or independent hobbies. We were focused on our relationship then. We had two cars but were using just one. We lived in a 400sqft apartment. No TV set. We were both in school and she was doing her thesis and I was helping her in the engine lab and that took a large portion of our lives up so that helped.

Basically, the system doesn't matter. What matters is that you figure out where you are in life and both agree on it, then live by it. Living above your means is the cause of money problems.

I was the platoon sergeant my last year in the marines. When I enlisted nobody was married and nobody got married. In the 90's people started getting married. And a PFC with a wife is a receipe for disaster. A PFC makes no money and can get bundles of credit. I gave the don't-get-married speech to about 100 guys with glazed over eyes and automatic "yes sergeants" pouring from their lips. And everything I ever warned against came true. I served restraining orders, sat in courtrooms, walked guys back and forth to various offices and they moaned the blues and I told them they should've listened but they never do. And why should they?

I've had all the advantages though. My parents got married in '65 and are still married. My wife's parents got married in '69 and are still married. Both of our parents adore their spouses and we were both brought up with that kind of example. Her parents were loaded and mine were poor so I'm always conservative and do the job of beating down crazy ideas while she is audacious and doesn't see boundries. We're very different but we earnestly respect each other--she's a powerful person and has risen quickly in her company and she makes things happen. You'd have to know me personally to see how I am, but I am a match for her and we work things out. We never fight, we don't yell but we figure it out. And we are a team in the family business. And we have 4 kids, which adds a big responsibility that you don't have an inkling of. Don't have kids.

 

[ati190]

I agree with JohnnyO. Except the fact of the Pre-nup. Why bother getting married? I know I won't. There's nothing in the world thats worth ruining your life like that. Unless your partner is rich, and you gain. Not lose. I've been with my gf for about 6 years now, and have no intent on marriage. She's eventually gonna leave me, since marriage is on her mind. I'd rather see her walk out then have my life destroyed. But I would stay seperate on the accounts.

 

[93Ranger4x4]

Well, i have my own savings account that i use to have my paycheck sent to(my name only on the savings), we also have a checking account with both our names on it and her check goes into that, i normally ask her how much she needs for bills and such, and just switch over some money outta the savings into the checking. We pretty much try to split things, as of right now, i'm in charge of My truck payment, the quad payment, the insurance payment and now the land payment. She pays her student loans, groceries(i chip in from time to time) her car payment and the extremely low rent payment to her grandparents, I also only get around 140 bucks to last me 2 weeks til i get paid again. Plus i like to buy every damn thing i see like trucks,cars,dirt bikes etc. , if it wasnt for her telling me no that we need the money, we'd REALLY be in over our heads lol. Personally, i dont think its a bad thing to have a joint account, hell justin, you and heather make a great couple and i dont see anything going wrong in your marriage, but the choice is all yours.

 

[joldtown]

Three accounts are necessary to maintain a good marriage.
Yours, Hers, and Ours.
Been married for 15 years and at first all money was lumped into one account. We decided that after we placed x amount every week into savings, paid the bills, and took care of anything else needed for the house we would divide the remaining money and that is where we each build our own checking/savings from.

 

[fireguy12117]

My situation seems to be a good mix of Wills and Jim Oaks situations. When we met we already had our own financial structures humming along. As things developed we kept open communication about the money but kept the accounts separate. The most important thing has been the communication. We argue and butt heads about how to redecorate a room or what color to go with but i don’t think we have ever argued over money. if one of us was short a month the other covered. When she chose to leave a job (i supported her quitting, wanted her to quit!) i covered the gaps. We do NOT split 50/50 as i do make more than her, so there is open communication, honesty, trust, and fairness that makes it work not whether it’s separate or joint. Oh, one last thing, there is a complimentary pair thing going as mentioned above. i am the risk taker where she is the one grounded in reality, so there is a good mix in hashing out when to live a little and when to rein it in- but did I mention its all about communication? I don’t think I did- communication is key!

 

[pillen140]

We have a joint for bills, rent, savings, etc, and we also both kept our individuals for our own "mad money" as it's known.

Best of both worlds imo..

this is what i did too.... best idea ever. plus, it came in handy when we were going through divorse and she tried to steal my money!!! lol!