funny ad on craigslist

[Funnyman141]

Lurking on craigslist and I happened across this ad

http://iowacity.craigslist.org/cto/3539702021.html

1987 SUBARU Gl 4x4 with true 4wheel drive and lo range too
141,000m 

Fabricated from rare minerals excavated from the core of Mount Olympus, artfully designed by Zeus and skillfully handcrafted in the Land of the Rising Sun by the deft hands of the infamous 7 Samurai. This Japanese rice-rocket is unquestionably the most heroic form of transport since the Apollo 11 lunar module. 

Searching for a delightful automobile to ferry you Barnes and Noble to buy 50 shades of Grey, or perhaps cart little Blueboy to clarinet lessons? Do me a favor, smash your laptop on the ground, give yourself an uppercut and take a good, long look in the mirror. Frankly, I'm offended. 

If, on the other hand, you're hunting for the most diabolical slab of precious metal to be synthesized during the Big Bang, please continue. . . 

To date, the most monumental day of your existence was your wedding, or the birth of your children. That's about to change! In fact, you'd trade your spouse and all of your offspring just to test-drive this barbarian. 


FACTS: this car transported the Statue of Liberty to New York City from Paris. 

Cast as KITT in 1982's Knight Rider TV series, but eventually deemed too intelligent for the role. 

Manufactured in 1987, this Gl was responsible for the Grunge movement. If Kurt Cobain owned one, Nirvana would still be thrashing out tunes. 

I drove it to my last job interview and my employer handed me his résumé. 

If you were to be run over by this beast, you'd have to fight off the strong urge to thank the driver. 

When the cops pulled me over a few weeks ago, they were lucky to leave with a warning. 


SPECIFICATIONS: . 

2 front seats from a 0-60 in 5 second car (thrones) back upholstered with Albino Panda fur died blue.. 

Stereo system used for sound engineering the U2 360 tour. 

Built-in chick/dude magnet (it knows your preference). 

Integrated time machine (takes you back to 1987 when you step inside) 

Powered by nuclear fusion (makes Coles/Woolies fuel vouchers redundant) 

Windscreen wiper jets filled with the tears of Jesus (washes away the most sinful grime) 

No power steering (so you better start pumping iron to shred your biceps) 

Analogue clock (ask your Grandfather how to read it). 


PRICE: 

$3,400 or 

Reasonable offers accepted. 

(Example of a reasonable offer: $10,000 +) 
 Jackie Chan once drove a car like this in a movie called Cannonball Run. If you want to look for rust (besides on the 2 front rims that came from my BRAT), you will have to go look at another car, this one has NONE and never has had. It spent it's entire life in the Desert SW scaring rattlesnakes out of their skin. This car will not be sold to someone who cannot do the following: Check/change their own oil. Change a tire by oneself. Replace spark plugs, fuels filters, etc. If you cannot do your own simple maintenance, then you are not worthy of this type of car. Simple THIS AD IS REAL, do not spam flag it.

 

[Brownie Mobile]

Yep, weve got a subaru owner.

 

[PanamaExpat]

Actually those were nice little cars.

 

[Tedybear]

That should make the "Best Of" list on that system. Classic!

S-

wow...talk about copy paste on auto pilot. Hang on...I'll see if I can delete one of these

 

[straycat]

He is a true salesman....lol. Really enjoyed the ad. Too bad most people can't do this as well. We have owned 3 Subaru cars (one Baja 4wd) and I liked them. My 86 GL 3 door is still running around up in Ohio. We gave it to my wife's niece back in 2003. She moved there from our area then to go to college and stay with family up there. She has over 230,000 miles on it and it still runs great she says. She drives it 4 days a week for work. We just saw her at Christmas time and she told us about the car she loves so much (FREE of course). The car still gets over 35 mpg and it only needed a tune-up and the original rear exhaust pipe started to get noisy so she went to Midas and got a new one. She keeps it covered at work and at night so the original paint still looks pretty good she says.

 

[wildbill23c]

I liked the old subarus from the 80's they really were true 4WD cars and did amazingly well in snow. Wouldn't mind having one really especially the station wagon model. They didn't have much in the way of an engine but they would do really good for fuel economy. I think they had like a 1.8L 4 cylinder engine in them.