Funniest Repair Orders you've seen?

[bcost882]

Did you ever send them for a couple feet of flightline? Or a gallon of prop wash?

naw we have jets so they can see through the prop wash. i almost fell for the exhaust sample though. imagine sitting behind an f-16 with a trash bag......haha.

i got an e-mail about UPS cargo plane work orders:"

Pilot writes up "noise under console sounds like a midget hitting something with a hammer"........mechanics corr action "took hammer away from midget"
or
Pilot writes up "landing rough in auto land" mechanics corr action "jet not equiped with auto land"

My best personal one is when our production supervision write up on a jet "tires require R2 because ugly".............rele.......(white wheels win wars)

 

[retep88]

My old truck needed a radiator flush and I don't like doing them in the drive way. I went to the local oil change place to get it done and while I was there I asked what it would cost to change the transmission oil in my manuel transmission. They wanted 70$ to change the oil! I will give them 15$ for the actual oil, but 55 for the guy to stand under my truck, pull a plug, wait? no way. It pissed me off, did it my self in my drive way.

 

[adsm08]

naw we have jets so they can see through the prop wash. i almost fell for the exhaust sample though. imagine sitting behind an f-16 with a trash bag......haha.

i got an e-mail about UPS cargo plane work orders:"

Pilot writes up "noise under console sounds like a midget hitting something with a hammer"........mechanics corr action "took hammer away from midget"
or
Pilot writes up "landing rough in auto land" mechanics corr action "jet not equiped with auto land"

My best personal one is when our production supervision write up on a jet "tires require R2 because ugly".............rele.......(white wheels win wars)

P/S auto level produces drop of 200 ft/half hour, technician response: Could not verify on ground.

P/S Cannot move control stick with friction brake engaged: tech response: that's what friction brake is for.

P/S left outer tire almost needs replaced tech response: Almost replaced left outer tire

P/S plane flies funny, tech response: told plane to straighten up and fly right.

I love that list.

 

[lil_Blue_Ford]

P/S auto level produces drop of 200 ft/half hour, technician response: Could not verify on ground.

P/S Cannot move control stick with friction brake engaged: tech response: that's what friction brake is for.

P/S left outer tire almost needs replaced tech response: Almost replaced left outer tire

P/S plane flies funny, tech response: told plane to straighten up and fly right.

I love that list.

I used to have the full list but haven't been able to find it....

 

[MrE_Powers]

the other day my wife was driving me in her taurus, she was complaining of a noise it started making from the left rear when breaking hard. i told her to stop and i got in the rear passenger seat i told her to not go home but to drive around in the neighborhood hitting the brakes hard to replicate the noise.

on the first hard breaking session i noticed a metal tin thing she got for candle making was hitting something glass. i started laughing and told her it was going in this thread.

 

[Colin]

I have this list:

Problem: Left main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left main tire
Problem: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.
Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on backorder.
Problem: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.
Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: DME volume set to more believable level.
Problem: Suspected crack in windscreen.
Solution: Suspect you're right.
Problem: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston engine airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Problem: Aircraft handles funny.
Solution: Warned Aircraft to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
Problem: Radar hums.
Solution: Reprogrammed radar with words.
Problem: Mouse in cockpit.
Solution: Installed cat.

 

[Boghog1]

I will never forget this repair order. I worked at a Toyota dealer in the early 90's a customer came in with a reasonably new Toyota tercel. we used the complaint cause and remedy format on our repair orders:
Complaint: Customer states steering wheel feels like it is telescopic.
Cause: Loose nut behind steering wheel.
Remedy: Tighten nut.

The customer thought we were saying that he was the problem. when in fact the nut that secures the wheel to the shaft had never been tightened. so the tech pulled the airbag and torqued the nut to spec.

 

[Hopman]

Priceless!!!!

Then again, aren't "loose nuts behind wheel" a common Toyota problem?

 

[MountainMike]

C/S Windshield wipers don't work when wet.
Sad part was, that was exactly what happened, they worked just fine when dry, the second you got a drop of water on the windshield, they cut out.

You ever get that one figured?

 

[adsm08]

You ever get that one figured?

Yeah, it was a Lumina van with the motor on a breaker instead of a fuse. There was a crack in the casing of the motor so every time the windshield got wet the water ran down and shorted the motor. Once it dried it started working again, so we got a new motor and wiper-trans assy from the JY and threw it in. Fixed it up good as the piece of GM junk it was.

The owner was Queen of the Trailer Trash though.

 

[Sasquatch_Ryda]

Had one the other day with a 2000 windstar.

Customer states that signal lever will not cancel from left turn and will not stay engaged for right turn.

As soon as I jumped in the van in the parking lot it was pretty obvious to me what the problem was....the guy had 3 heavy wrist watches hanging from the signal lever....

 

[MountainMike]

My personal favourite is not a RO but I had to deal with this one guy -- who I'll only refer to as Crown Vic guy -- who called twice and came in three times to get a key and still would not believe that his car had PATS, it was an '05 Vic. I went through the book, went through MicroCat and still wouldn't believe me. We finally just cut him a regular ILCO key and sent him on his way. Apparently his other set of keys we in the car, and they were PATS keys.

 

[bcost882]

here is a bunch off another aviation mechanics forum some good ones
http://www.airliners.net/aviation-forums/tech_ops/read.main/174463/1/#1

 

[Hopman]

My dad service boom trucks (utility trucks, tree trucks, ect) as factory service for Altec. He sometimes gets what he calls "stupid calls." The linemen are just being stupid.

One of the ones he gets on occasion is "This truck's running slow!" What line operator means is that "His truck's faster than mine!!!!!!" He carries a stopwatch just for this reason. 9 out 10 times the write up is "Truck works within specs!" And the linemen gets a nice talking to from his boss about why he just put a truck down for the day and cost the company $1,000 for a truck that works fine!

Another one he's gotten was for blown power inverters. Uility trucks usually have a small one installed to run small power tools (Dremel, drill, grinder, ect). The problem? The linemen were pigging a 1200 watt microwave & a coffee maker into a 250 watt inverter. The solution? Install bigger inveter. After the 2000 watt ones came installed at the factory, he hasn't had a call about that since.

 

[dbp]

Pretty much every day I get stupid tickets because our service advisors are kind of slow.

This one time, I got one that said this:

1) Check Brakes

That's it...I said "why does he want his brakes checked...was he just sitting at home watching TV and decided he wanted his brakes checked?" The advisor said "yeah he said there were no problems, just due for a routine check."

I pull it in...brake pedal goes to floor, BRAKE light is on, ABS light is on, brakes are grinding, ebrake doesn't work, CEL on...

--

Those guys at the counter are supposed to ask these questions.