Chuck Norris Facts

[Original_Ranger84]

He just looks at her and she collapses.

 

[jdm_farmboy]

Chuck Norris born 5/6/1945
Nazi Germany surrenders 5/7/1945

Coincidence? I think not!

 

[hoosier1104]

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, 'Please don't kill me.' Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

 

[hoosier1104]

 

[Hopman]

Chuck Norris doesn't brew his coffee. He just east the beans like popcorn & lets his red blood cells grind it up inside him.

 

[robertc1024]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

 

[nitrofan1]

Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lies perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. NEVER slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't own a stove nor a microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.

 

[Hopman]

Superman wears Chuck Norris underware.

 

[Iron Ranger]

Chuck Norris doesn't have a bad side, because anyone on their way to it is dead before they made it to his bad side.

 

[Iron Ranger]

The titanic sunk because Chuck Norris went back in time and roundhoused the hull.

 

[fx2prerunner]

when Chuck Norris was bore the nurse said HOLY SHIT IT'S CHUCK NORRIS!
Chuck Norris can speak russian, in french
Chuck Norris dont sleep he waits
when Chuck Norris goes swimming he dont get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

 

[r1hatman]

Even Chuck Norris's sperm are karate experts, and they go in swat style!

 

[Hopman]

When Chuck Norris dies, he'll dig his own grave and build his own casket.

 

[hoosier1104]

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

 

[Iron Ranger]

Chuck Norris uses semi-truck flywheels as frisbees. To this day, no one's survived a throw............