An add on trans cooler and shift kit, will improve 2-3 flair up and extend the life of the trans. but as for hard down shifting it may not be the trans, U-joints, motor/trans mounts, and or worn ring & pinion could be the cause.
If you have worn clutches or bands, even with the shift kit and cooler the trans will still slip and or flair up.
You should replace the filter, and ONLY use mercon-V trans fluid, I use 1 bottle of lucas trans fix(helps drop the temp down). some people think its snake oil, but I use it in all 3 of my trucks and it works for me.