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Suicidal thoughts...


mtnrgr

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My mother was a nurse for 35 years, and she always said..do all things naturally in your life..stay off those fucking pills.

My father had a severe stroke in front of me 4 years ago, and he eventually passed from it.

Around 15 years ago I had a mini stroke, and I was down for a long while..did fully recover from it.

The signs are pointing to where I may a thing called angina..have most symptoms. It's a problem with the heart, chest pains, etc. Heart problems are in my family, dad's side.

Here is my best therapy ever..buddy my 2nd Rottweiler..140lbs of pure German..he was my everything. This was taken in 2011..he is 6 here.
 

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I try to avoid taking pills for anything. Don't take over the counter allergy medicine unless my symptoms are really bad, and don't take anything for my acid reflux although I should. Honestly, I think my acid reflux is stressed induced, so I should probably work to get rid of that. Glad to hear your lings are good.
 

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I try to avoid taking pills for anything. Don't take over the counter allergy medicine unless my symptoms are really bad, and don't take anything for my acid reflux although I should. Honestly, I think my acid reflux is stressed induced, so I should probably work to get rid of that. Glad to hear your lings are good.
Mine turned out to be an ulcer. Regular reflux can be bad long term if it’s bad. Might get ot checked if it’s bad.
 

rumblecloud

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My mother was a nurse for 35 years, and she always said..do all things naturally in your life.."stay off those fucking pills."

Here is my best therapy ever.."buddy my 2nd Rottweiler"..140lbs of pure German..he was my everything. This was taken in 2011..he is 6 here.
I really like your mom and your form of therapy. Keep up the great work.
 

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Looking for an update on the heart issue.
 

mtnrgr

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Hello all, have gone thru some more dr appts and more test..I do have cardio issues with my heart and arteries, due to this I am a higher risk of a severe stroke. Heart problems in my family on my dad's side. The rotator is torn again in my left shoulder, and it severely hurts with any movement of my left arm. Have had alot of problems with my memory, seems like I am on borrowed time...I have been hearing from the lord, and my Rebecca...perhaps I am being called home, don't know exactly yet, if so I wanna thank everyone for thier support for 20 + years i have been on trs..until my time is up, I will still be around asking questions and to continue to be part of the best ranger group to have ever existed. I pray everyday, for all who have been in my corner I truly thank you..
 

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You should find something to do. You could sit there and hurt or get up and do something, there is a choice. Even the cardio I believe would thank you. Moving a bit is better than not moving at all. I have no idea the other options available to you but surely there's something. Maybe brighten somebodies day or something, tell them a story from your life that inspires, or ask them about theirs. There are options available right up to the time there is no more, please grab them while you can, any way you can, I do not believe God is calling you "home" at this time, so please be good to yourself and do something positive, even as simple as a bit of exercise to help your body to feel better, just do it
 

Eddo Rogue

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Have you been dunked in the water? Might good to do before you go, if you haven't already.
 

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We're all here with you @mtnrgr

Sorry to hear about your ongoing issues.

Positive thoughts, think as many of them as you can. Negativity itself is a disease, one that will self prophesize without the positivity to fight it off.
 

mtnrgr

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We're all here with you @mtnrgr

Sorry to hear about your ongoing issues.

Positive thoughts, think as many of them as you can. Negativity itself is a disease, one that will self prophesize without the positivity to fight it off.
This means alot, thank you..

to the others whether I am on my way out or not just yet, I am still living as I can each day with no complaints. Not sitting around feeling sorry for myself nor am I looking for pity from anyone. I do get out each day as I can to walk or drive, that is a little limited at this time with my left arm in chronic pain. Each day I take as a gift and do as my lord allows me.
 

99 XLT

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Hey buddy, I don't have answers or the cure, but I just want to let you know you're not alone.

I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety since I was 18. I've dealt with it fine for the most part, with sporadic suicidal episodes, but it really hit hard this past year or so. My job has been terrible, my dad had a heart attack, my personal health isn't amazing, and my brother just went through a nasty divorce that left me with two dogs I seriously can't consciously care for.

I guess all I can say is hang in there. Every day I've ever dreamed of dying, or not waking up, or offing myself, I am glad I didn't. There's always a good day or days ahead, even if they're fleeting. But it's better to power through the bad to get into the good than to end it all and experience neither.

I was raised Christian, went athiest from 17-27, and now I don't know what to believe, but I do believe in something. I have to, or else there's nothing.

Keep grinding friend, through the good and bad. We truly don't have long to live, even on my worst days I need to remind myself of this. The days where I feel like walking in front of a train, I need to make myself do something worth while.
 

oldgeek

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It's a bad day when I have to go through my top five reasons I'm not going to kill myself today. It's a really bad day when I have to do that 3 or more times. I would think that things got better since I haven't had to do that for a while, but it might be that I'm too exhausted to care anymore. I am waiting for the promise when no one will be sick anymore. (Isaiah 33:24) That and other aspects of hope helps me through.
 

mtnrgr

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Hello all,

Well, I made an attempt two weeks ago...sorta screwed myself up a tad. Right after Jesus came to me..within a few days after I had multiple visits from my Rebecca. Slowly healing with those who are assisting..my health is not well, and to recently find out both rotators in both shoulders are completely torn again 100%. I have been thru the ringer quite a bit in my life, I am unable to deal with this anymore. There are some other personal life issues I am also dealing with, that's private matters.

Haven't been well for sometime, and haven't had much energy for much including coming to trs.

Most of you have been cool thru this ordeal, and I truly appreciate it.

Wanted to give my fellow ranger people an update on somethings.
 

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Man I am praying for you. Hang in there, and know this, you can have a personal relation with Jesus while walking this earth, and He can give you the strength to get through this. Not take the pain and hardship away, but give you the strength and inner peace to get through it.

Hang in there.

AJ
 

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