Suicidal thoughts...

[lil_Blue_Ford]

Really do appreciate you explaining that. I would like to read your book.

If you can’t find my book I’ll dig up a link. Been awhile since I did anything with that stuff. Kinda would like to get back to doing some writing, though currently my head is still a bit messed up and it takes a bit to collect thoughts and write things, but perhaps it might help my situation to try and force myself to do some writing again instead of just reading and doing games and exercises to improve my cognitive function after these concussions.

That all said, I did have someone point out yesterday I think it was that I’m lucky to be alive, the mortality rate for having two concussions within a few days of each other is incredibly high. Struggling with recovering I don’t really feel all that lucky, but I guess it’s a mindset thing. That’s something I really have to work on, trying to change my mindset.

I also discovered (it was early into my recovery) that CBD has positive effects on my condition. I had been using CBD to help with my hip problems and ADD/ADHD prior to the concussions and stopped after the first concussion. Didn’t drink any alcohol or have a cigar or anything. A few days after the second concussion when I was really struggling I went on a search to find out how soon I could return to using CBD and found some medical research saying that CBD consumption within several hours of a concussion can help limit the effects of the concussion and help recovery. So I may have been better off not stopping using it. So after finding that out, I’m back to using CBD. I’ve found that the vape helps with my ADD and stuff but not so much my hip, but it’s more accepted. The bud helps with both but it looks and smells like weed so it’s not so easily consumed. I also have a muscle rub with CBD that helps a lot.

 

[Eddo Rogue]

Hope this might have some pull on the band that snaps you out of it.
Not sure what did it for me, but something(s) just snapped me out of it. Not overnight, but yes I'm no longer so shook up, shook most of it off.
I'm not all cumbaya lah dee dah....But 2 guys at work called me happy go lucky. I was slightly offended lol, but I guess misery doesn't always love company.
That's what I do now, laugh shit off. stepping in shit is funny to me now. Its like "of course" shrug....Maybe I'll hose it off, or scrub it off on grass....or just keep walking. Eff it.
Sometimes the darkness creeps in a little bit, I can feel it in my face and gut....but doesn't linger like it used to. I remember what its like and don't wanna be there anymore.
I've had to pretty much shut out my past and start a new life in the same place. Slowly but surely I've managed to lose shitty friends/family, which made time and space for new good ones. That is probably what most helped snap me out of it. That and work. I made time precious and it killed the anxiety.
Its good to be back. I'm a little weird now, but alive and well. Still no wife no kids no dogs, but its ok, they'll show up when I deserve em. I don't have burning feelings and desires like I used to, but its kinda nice. The simple things do it for me now. A nice nap at lunch break, a funny sounding fart....anything.

Something Elon Musk said struck me " There's got to be more to life than just solving one miserable problem after another". I've got a short amount of time here, and the potential to enjoy it. Not gonna waste any more being miserable due to heartbreaks, idiots, time burglars, and energy vampires.

Happy Sunday Funday, cheers bub.

 

[lil_Blue_Ford]

Hope this might have some pull on the band that snaps you out of it.
Not sure what did it for me, but something(s) just snapped me out of it. Not overnight, but yes I'm no longer so shook up, shook most of it off.
I'm not all cumbaya lah dee dah....But 2 guys at work called me happy go lucky. I was slightly offended lol, but I guess misery doesn't always love company.
That's what I do now, laugh shit off. stepping in shit is funny to me now. Its like "of course" shrug....Maybe I'll hose it off, or scrub it off on grass....or just keep walking. Eff it.
Sometimes the darkness creeps in a little bit, I can feel it in my face and gut....but doesn't linger like it used to. I remember what its like and don't wanna be there anymore.
I've had to pretty much shut out my past and start a new life in the same place. Slowly but surely I've managed to lose shitty friends/family, which made time and space for new good ones. That is probably what most helped snap me out of it. That and work. I made time precious and it killed the anxiety.
Its good to be back. I'm a little weird now, but alive and well. Still no wife no kids no dogs, but its ok, they'll show up when I deserve em. I don't have burning feelings and desires like I used to, but its kinda nice. The simple things do it for me now. A nice nap at lunch break, a funny sounding fart....anything.

Something Elon Musk said struck me " There's got to be more to life than just solving one miserable problem after another". I've got a short amount of time here, and the potential to enjoy it. Not gonna waste any more being miserable due to heartbreaks, idiots, time burglars, and energy vampires.

Happy Sunday Funday, cheers bub.

Well put! It’s definitely a mindset thing, but it’s also hard to change a mindset. But it can be done.

 

[Eddo Rogue]

Well put! It’s definitely a mindset thing, but it’s also hard to change a mindset. But it can be done.

Very true. But I didn't change mine, it changed itself, others probably helped.

 

[mtnrgr]

Well guys, I am leaving for my trip to northern California on Friday to look for a place to work and live. I know I have been silent for awhile..do appreciate your time to talk.

Gas prices in California absolutely suck ass...thanks dumbass newsome. Had to really budget for this one.

 

[Ranger850]

Don't forget to check in when you get settled in. I've heard Northern California is a beautiful place. Send some scenic pics

 

[Uncle Gump]

Avoid Humboldt county... I see people like disappear there pretty regularly.

 

[venom97]

Keep pushing on buddy! Stumbled on this thread today and glad you reached out and talking to some people. You cant keep it bottled in and you shouldn't have to. A lot of people going through a lot and sometimes you can stumble into people that can directly relate. I don't know you personally but everyone makes an impact on your life and you have on mine with just this. It will get better, make some changes for you and put you and your health first! Keep checking in on here, lots of us care.

 

[Ranger850]

Avoid Humboldt county... I see people like disappear there pretty regularly.

Ever see 'Murder Mountain" on netflix?

 

[Uncle Gump]

I believe I have...

I've seen a couple shows about people just vanishing in that area.

 

[mtnrgr]

I know all about Humboldt county. Plan on staying out of that area. I am going to shasta county.

 

[Ranger850]

I know all about Humboldt county. Plan on staying out of that area. I am going to shasta county.

I never knew it was a "place".
Just delicious greatness.

 

[mtnrgr]

Don't know what will kill you first, the people in Humboldt county or drinking all that soda? I have no plans to find out on either.

 

[Chapap]

Bump

 

[97RangerXLT]

Bump

You doing ok dude?

AJ