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Suicidal thoughts...


mtnrgr

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I am at that stage and thought of suicide again..

So much stress has really laid and weighed me down this time..

Have no fucking idea on how to deal with it..I do see a psychologist weekly, it helps, when I get so far gone I distance myself from people and life.

My friend is dying in the hospital, not from COVID other health issues..seeing the family deal with this is heartbreaking...known him for 25 years. I miss my Rebecca, the shoulder pain, many other things..

I do believe in God, have my whole life..there have been signs from him and hearing Rebecca's voice..I am so scared on what will happen.

My mind wanders with these thoughts.

How should I clear these thoughts from my mind?

Really need some input for those who can really help.
 


BlackBII

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A perspective from a friend of mine who pulled themselves out from a dark place -- She was considering ending her life as well, but after we talked for a while she came to the conclusion that ending her life as she knew it would work too, and that way she could keep living. So the idea is to end your current life, and start a new one. Not from scratch, but from experience -- choose a new path based on what you've learned going down this one.
 

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How should I clear these thoughts from my mind?
You have to have your mind on something else to replace those thoughts. Just getting rid of them leaves a hole that something needs to fill. Keep your mind busy with other stuff. Also, try to find a friend you can rely in and call for help when things get really tough, preferably someone from church who shares your religious beliefs.
 

RumPunch

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There is a Podcast on YouTube or Apple Podcasts from Jocko Willink a retired Navy Seal with that is highly motivational. I do not have a military background but grew up in a military family. This first one is more motivational than many things I have heard. The second is a podcast of the wife of a passed soldier who took his life and the true outcome it had on the family. I believe these are worth listening to. Hope it helps bring you out of the funk. Best of luck.

Jocko Podcast 223 w Pat McNamara: Be Skilled & Prepared to Take Care of Yourself & those Around You - YouTube


 

Blmpkn

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Its probably better to be self deprecating than self defecating.
They say God doesn't put any more on your plate than you can handle.. so.. You must be one tough MF to deal with what you've been having to.

I'm sorry your life is taking a toll on your mentality. I hope you can find some peace sooner than later.
 

Ranger850

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I recently went to the funeral of my girlfriends cousin that committed suicide. Very heartbreaking. So much pain and sadness. A friend of my son committed suicide a few years ago. His family and friends still grieve.

Contact your psychologist and let them know how you're feeling. I'd hate to lose you from our community.
 

RustyShackleford94

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Anything serious keeping you in one place? If not, leave. Drop your electronics, load up and go see the country. Ive been depressed (not suicidal depressed but depressed none the less). The fiance, dog, and I lived out of the bed of my GMC for about 2 months after i got laid off when covid hit. Only thing we touched our phones for was maps. Just jumping state to state visiting places ive never heard of or always wanted to see. I sat at home waiting to be called back for about a month and i had just had it. I was always pissed and just in general depressed. June 9th 2020 i told the Mrs i was going for a road trip, no clue when ill be back. She loaded up and away we went. Didnt get back until July 25th and started my new job on the 28th.

I always wanted to see the UP of Michigan so we headed north first and brother let me tell you, that place beats everywhere else ive seen. We took our time west to Montana, south to Utah then back east. Renting a boat and cruising around the Lake of the Ozark's is another must do if only for a day. Anyway, Just take like one day at a time. If nothings holding you in place start drifting. If you find a spot you like, stay for a while.

I realize everyones circumstances are different but id make this happen before you get to that jumping off point. For me it was easy since the mrs and i were taking all the government money in. If it doesnt work then you can say you didnt try.
 
Last edited:

mtnrgr

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To those who responded with great advice, knowledge, and wisdom.. truly thank you.

I am not one who posts stuff like this online as my life is personal and quiet, for the most part. Lately, things of shit has once again piled me down..for being on trs for 21 years..needed to reach out to my fellow members for assistance.

God piling things on my plate...🤔

He has and has been there to assist and help me handle during believable and unbelievable moments and times. Other things on the plate were life and people, never took on more than I can handle..at times it's tossed your way and you gotta handle even when it means saying no.

Did see my Dr today and she is really gonna dig deeper into the mind to see what is going on. I hate pills and refuse to take them..we are going to do this the old school way.

For the one who said tough mf..I am, very humble easy going. Dad was a farm boy, marine for ten years..3 tours in Vietnam as a scout sniper, drill instructor for a year, then construction up until he passed at 75. Mom was a nurse for 40 years. All the individuals I have known in my 48 years..I have my moments...will leave it at that.

My mind is still in a fog...one of those days.

Not throwing in the ranger parts yet..gotta get better. Not sure how or when.
 

Jim Oaks

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Blmpkn

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My credo
Its probably better to be self deprecating than self defecating.
To those who responded with great advice, knowledge, and wisdom.. truly thank you.

I am not one who posts stuff like this online as my life is personal and quiet, for the most part. Lately, things of shit has once again piled me down..for being on trs for 21 years..needed to reach out to my fellow members for assistance.

God piling things on my plate...🤔

He has and has been there to assist and help me handle during believable and unbelievable moments and times. Other things on the plate were life and people, never took on more than I can handle..at times it's tossed your way and you gotta handle even when it means saying no.

Did see my Dr today and she is really gonna dig deeper into the mind to see what is going on. I hate pills and refuse to take them..we are going to do this the old school way.

For the one who said tough mf..I am, very humble easy going. Dad was a farm boy, marine for ten years..3 tours in Vietnam as a scout sniper, drill instructor for a year, then construction up until he passed at 75. Mom was a nurse for 40 years. All the individuals I have known in my 48 years..I have my moments...will leave it at that.

My mind is still in a fog...one of those days.

Not throwing in the ranger parts yet..gotta get better. Not sure how or when.

Sometimes, medication is the only real answer. If the old school way doesn't work for you as well, or as soon as you need.. please consider it.

Another thing to consider, and it's a sad truth... but not every psychologist is fit to treat any/everyone. A psychologist has the potential of actually having a negative impact on the mentality of their patients... not on purpose of course... but it is a potential.

Giving another, or a few more doctors a try wouldn't hurt anything.

Your in all our thoughts @mtnrgr
 

Shran

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I lost a friend to suicide my senior year of high school (2005.) I still think about him often, I had talked to him just a few hours before and have always wished he had just said something...maybe he'd still be here. Since then I have lost a few other friends to car accidents, cancer, overdose...Harley's suicide left the biggest hole.

You are a valued part of the community here and we hope you stick around... will be thinking of ya.

@mtnrgr I don't know what to say. Suicide is a scary subject and should be treated very delicately. This guy saved my life once. Apparently his words have helped a lot of people.


Jelly Roll is a wise dude.
 

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we are here for you, i am glad that you are talking to your doctor about it and us as well. Meds can be a help get you over the "edge" of the crap life has dealt you. as mentioned above, if you are able to do it, an extended road trip to take your mind off of everything. if you have a good friend or family member that you can unload on during the trip that is good as well. being alone with your thoughts is not a good thing, so hit up that friend or family member, hit us up on TRS if you need to talk.

You don't want a permanent solution to what is likely a temporary problem or circumstances.

AJ
 

mtnrgr

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My credo
Lord God is my guardian
Still alive and blurry in the mind. Do have some questions, need a moment to gather my thoughts.
 

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