I am notorious in my despising of .380 . It combines the worst of the cals on either side , with no upsides .
If you want any effective gun in that size envelope , there are a plethora of polymer frame subcompact 9x19 available . Any of them would be better than any .380acp .
Any gun is an effective gun. Getting shot sux, and the eminent threat of getting shot makes people's knees go loose. The report (love that use of the word) is both a deterrent and an alarm to bring the police. That's the first thing.
The next thing is, it isn't a civilian's job to stop a bad guy. It's a civilian's job to protect themselves. Any gun will defter or deflect a threat and help you escape the situation. It's the police who HAVE to engage and stop the bad guy. I'm good with shooting the bad guy a whole bunch of times with a .22 and getting out of there.
The last thing is, a 9x19 in a tiny pistol is a stoopid weapon. My carry weapon is a Nano. With the standard flush magazine, it's unwieldy to shoot. It's not a super-tiny 9mm, but it's still pretty bad. With the 8-round extension, it's pretty good for an experienced shooter. It's still light and violent, but you can control it just fine. Nowhere near as good as a 92, not even close.
Even the LCP 380 is a tough weapon for some people. Pretty ferocious bark for a tiny little piece of plastic and steel.
You need to be able to whip it out and hit with it. Whatever it is. That's the first thing, period. Period.
Best weapons for someone that needs defense but isn't interested in guns: Browning Buck Mark or Ruger Mark IV.
It is the hits that count. And with either of those, anyone can hit a lot.
Even for home defense. Being terrified of pulling the trigger on a 12 gauge will make your 120# wife miss. Give her something she can enjoy shooting and be good at. She can hit with it. It's the hits that count.
I carried a Beretta Bobcat for 20 years because I was only worried about protecting myself. I can whip it out and hit a pie plate with all 7 rounds in a few seconds. Then, with all these shooting on the rise, I began to think a little. I was in the Marine Corps for 10 years. I carried a 357 and 870 for 3 of them as a duty weapon, and an M16 and M92, variously for the other 7. I started thinking, though, that if I was sitting in line to drop my kids off at school and something happened, and all I had was my little Bobcat, how would I feel. With all these thousands of rounds and hours of combat shooting training and some amateur jackass shows up and starts shooting kids--and I don't have a real weapon? That's different. I have much more training than the police do. And a range in my yard...I keep up. So this is the part where I start to agree with you.
Now I see the need for a round that can drop people. But I still want to carry it all the time. So I got the Nano. I like my 1911 more, and it's the first weapon I shot in the marine Corps. But to have it all the time, you need something like the Nano. And I got the Nano extended magazines so I can grab it and shoot it without having to juggle it around to find the place in your hand where it needs to be. Muscle memory can't be achieved unless the gun fits your hand. The Beretta Bobcat has a great grip and you can immediately index it. Great gun for your girls.
But I also carry a Ruger PC-9 in my truck. If I would get an extra second to grab it, I would use that. I carry a shotgun, too. But you can just pour rounds into a target with the PC-9. A little firehose of death for the bad guys.
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