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Smoken a turkey


ThatOneGuy

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Dirtman

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I poop in the furnace.
But what about the turkey butthole bread?
 

ThatOneGuy

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Warmed 1 lb butter, one bulb crushed garlic, 4 strips bacon pre cooked added with grease, 2 tsp lemmon pepper seasoning, 2 lemons cut in quarters squeezed. Let simmer for 20 mins. Inject into as much of the meat as you can, under skin everywhere lol. Than stuff lemmon rinds, bacon, left overs into turkey. Let rest in fridge over night.

Baste
Half a cup peanut oil, .25 cup honey, half a cup stone ground Dijon mustard mix well.

Place turkey over fire 4-5mins ea side then pull from hot side of grill, start smoking 250 degrees f for many hours, 22 pound turkey.
 

ThatOneGuy

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The couple I've done have been in a pan not just on the grill, interesting... The pellet grill smoked turkey for thanksgiving is my favorite way, last time is when the wife learned about turning off the smoker correctly... the instructions on turning the knob off with the heat rod still on are for a reason :), there was a big pile of burning pellets that caught fire, had to finish the turkey in the house...
 

RobbieD

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Toonces drives a Ranger . . . . just not very well.
I tried smoking a turkey once. Not much of a buzz, and it was hard to keep lit.
 

ThatOneGuy

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Ya ive never done this before, and i dont even have a real smoker its just my bbq but briquettes and smoker pellets, with a slab of wallnut now and again, does real nice, it is a pain having to babysit it all day, instead of just being able to set it but oh well gives more time for basting. I dont even know what drove me to it, but Thursday at work it was all i could think about, and the recipe just came to me it evolved slowly over the course of the day lol.
 

Dirtman

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I don't care how you cook it, turkey tastes like napkins. All birds taste like crap. The only tasty things you get from a bird come out of their butt. Stuffing, and eggs.
 

Jazzer

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That’s why you have to use so many flavorings, to get it to taste like something…

-Jazzer
 

Dirtman

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I poop in the furnace.
That’s why you have to use so many flavorings, to get it to taste like something…

-Jazzer
Yea but it only makes the skin taste good! I'll tear up some Popeyes chicken but leave most of the meat cause only the skin tastes like anything. Same with turkey, you eat the skin and drown the rest in gravy lol. I HATE thanksgiving because we'll no one likes their family, and turkey suuuuuucks.

Fried gizzards, hearts, and livers ain't bad though but again you are literally just tasting the batter and oil and the "meat" just adds bulk lol. Like fried okra, no one likes okra, but cover it in batter and throw it in oil and it's great. Collard greens taste like the stuff on the bottom of a lawnmower, slather it in pig fat and spices then fry it and it's great. You could eat chunks of an old shoe if it's cut up small enough and covered in enough fried grease, that doesn't mean shoes are tasty...
 
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ThatOneGuy

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Thats why you inject seasonings butter and bacon grease into the meat of the turkey and let it marinade overnight before cooking, cuz than the meat tasts great, otherwise you are right most made in the oven turkeys are dry and flavorless, and i agree on the family thing kinda.
 

ThatOneGuy

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Let the universe take you where it will !!!
Well it was a hit ive been told ive officially backed myself into cooking the thanksgiving bird every year. We took it to the inlaws, since my father inlaw goes for surgery on Wednesday.
 

Jazzer

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Well you done got yourself another annual duty.

Good wishes for FIL’s procedure.

-Jazzer
 

Dirtman

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I poop in the furnace.
Never prove to anyone you can do anything!

Seriously?... I spent my childhood putting dish soap in the washing machine so my mother would never make me do laundry again. I learned this at like 8. Screw up all the time and no one asks you to do crap!!!! My mom hasn't let me wash a dish in 30 years because she thinks I'm an idiot... Yea... I'm real stupid....

giphy (3).gif
 
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