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Smoken a turkey

ThatOneGuy

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Well you done got yourself another annual duty.

Good wishes for FIL’s procedure.

-Jazzer
Thanks for the good wishes, its been a tough year for him and this is the final lets try and make it almost as good as new surgery.
 


1990RangerinSK

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You need a lawyer. You need one better than Dirtman's goat. I just got an email from the turkey's family. They've filed a wrongful death suit against you. They're suing you for $999,999,999,999,999.99.
 

ThatOneGuy

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You need a lawyer. You need one better than Dirtman's goat. I just got an email from the turkey's family. They've filed a wrongful death suit against you. They're suing you for $999,999,999,999,999.99.
IT WILL NEVER STAND UP IN COURT. I have a signed notorized agreement that should he die. I have full rights to turn his remains into a tasty meal.
 

Dirtman

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IT WILL NEVER STAND UP IN COURT. I have a signed notorized agreement that should he die. I have full rights to turn his remains into a tasty meal.
My goat argues that with said agreement you are then subject to proving in court that the meal was in fact tasty. Failing to do so you would be held criminally liable for desecration of remains and liable in civil court for emotional distress of the family of the deceased. since it is physically impossible to make a turkey tasty, you sir are screwed. Goat recommends pleading mentally unfit to stand trial on the basis that you had a legal agreement with a dead bird.
 

ThatOneGuy

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My goat argues that with said agreement you are then subject to proving in court that the meal was in fact tasty. Failing to do so you would be held criminally liable for desecration of remains and liable in civil court for emotional distress of the family of the deceased. since it is physically impossible to make a turkey tasty, you sir are screwed. Goat recommends pleading mentally unfit to stand trial on the basis that you had a legal agreement with a dead bird.
You know i do have left overs that could be entered into evidence, which would prove your argument wrong. Which i think is your plan. But jersey is 2800 miles from here lol.
 

scotts90ranger

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My pellet grill is just the $300 special from Bi-Mart, I have the Smoke Hollow version, whatever they have now is cheaper and has a couple nicer features... if you're so inclined to continue on the smoking venture... Papa Murphy's pizza is great on them... If you leave it outside just make sure to cover it when the weather is nasty, it's a pain to get the swollen pellets out of the auger...

For those non Northwest peeps, Bi-Mart is just the local smaller all in one store that hasn't changed much since the 80's, and I will support them because of it... I think it just goes from some of Washington through Oregon and some of Idaho maybe? It doesn't have any political BS, still sells guns and ammo, has a hardware section with actual usable stuff in it, has beer, work clothes (nothing in style... perfect, that section is 1.5 aisle's, the energy drinks are across from underwear...), some groceries and most have a pharmacy.
 

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ericbphoto

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You know i do have left overs that could be entered into evidence, which would prove your argument wrong. Which i think is your plan. But jersey is 2800 miles from here lol.
You're screwed. Leftovers never taste as good as first time around.

Furthermore, I've never tasted a poultry "stuffing or dressing" that was palatable in any way.

As for legalities, I recommend that you concentrate on proving the bird was dead before you acquired it. Therefore, all you did was process and consume a dead carcass.
 

Dirtman

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You're screwed. Leftovers never taste as good as first time around.

Furthermore, I've never tasted a poultry "stuffing or dressing" that was palatable in any way.

As for legalities, I recommend that you concentrate on proving the bird was dead before you acquired it. Therefore, all you did was process and consume a dead carcass.
He has already stated he had a signed agreement with the bird. If the bird was dead before he aquired it then how did he enter into a legally binding contract with said bird? Now he could face charges of purgery and fraud!
 

Dirtman

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It's up there.
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It's down there.
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I poop in the furnace.

97RangerXLT

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Your arguments are all invalid. Cantaloupe.

*hmmm original recipe KFC....*

AJ
 

ThatOneGuy

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Well my back up plan is to prove im insane, my evidence is this, ( i think the 1989 chevy s10 is the best truck ever!!!). There now nothing i ever say could be seen as credible
 

snoranger

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Well my back up plan is to prove im insane, my evidence is this, ( i think the 1989 chevy s10 is the best truck ever!!!). There now nothing i ever say could be seen as credible
You’re not necessarily insane... you could just be a liar.
 

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