Jarvisx51
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2021
- Messages
- 4
- Reaction score
- 10
- Points
- 3
- Location
- Eastern Idaho
- Vehicle Year
- 1978
- Make / Model
- F150 Ranger XLT
- Transmission
- Automatic
- 2WD / 4WD
- 4WD
SO, after a whiskey or two, I went off and bought this pile of truck off some guy in a trailer park. For the low, low price of not quite free but probably still too much. I'm usually a nissan guy, but I'm a sucker for old green pickups with 4 wheel drive and dual fuel tanks and piss all for safety equipment. Ok fine. I'll fess up. I saw it and it looked like one of those rescue animal commercials from the 90's my heart melted and i needed to save it before someone tried to feed it more meth.
The Good: Body is pretty straight. Mice didnt eat it. glove box lamp works. Seat isn't even torn. Interior is pretty solid considering the meth pipe where the radio should be. Everything seems to be where it should be, except the radiator but I'll get to that. Factory original paint almost everywhere!
The Bad: Keys barely work. heaven forbid you have to open the hood in a hurry, the factory hood release key cylinder is terrible. Or worn out. Cant tell. Both gas tanks are locked up tighter than fort knox and I dont have either key. Ignition cylinder? present, probably took meth; key cylinder found inside engine air filter. 4 wheels, only one has enough rubber left to be recognizably a tire. Also wheels to mobile home and tires to something else. Oh yeah, and dump bees. So many dump bees.
The Ugly: the front axle while seemingly present, doesnt have any of the axle-y bits poking out the ends. nor spindles, nor hubs. Tail gate is completely smashed in. going to pull it off and put it in the back of the wood shed. Really sucks too, not even rusty. Apparently Meth head #1 sold it to meth head #2 whose friend meth head #3 had a truck and they shoved it around the trailer park on skate boards until finally i bought it from meth head #4.
The stupid: Turns out that some hill billy like me decided that it would ride home on the trailer better if I put the cinderblocks, that i won in a game of rock paper scissors from meth head #1, back under the truck. I thought this would be a great idea, since the trailer was a rental and not punching a hole in the deck with what was left of the front axle. much to my suprise I opened up the chain binder locker to find that my 4 binders was actually 2. Thanks rental company. so with some kind of F***ery i managed to keep the thing from falling off long enough to get home. Which took a while because trailer sway is a thing if you don't drag a pile of garbage up onto the trailer far enough while a growing crowd of malcontents eyeballs the tool box on your work truck. So I got home at 4AM. Rental trailer with the WONDERFUL tilt deck was due back at the rental shop at 6AM. So here I am, exhausted, behind schedule, and about to lose my damn mind. And I still have to get it off the trailer. So jack up the front with my Hazard Fraught (TM) jack and start yanking on the come along from the ass end. That went pretty well until the jack fell out through a hole in the deck someone had thrown deck matting over. Usually this only happens on wood trailers, mind. but a torch cut hole in the middle of a near brand new tilt deck trailer was not on my list of expectations. SO one end of the jack goes down the hole, truck falls down, ass end of the jack goes up, and violently uninstalls the radiator. Which sucks because im pretty sure that one was copper cored.
The happy ending: Trailer goes back to the rental company, I get my deposit back, they politely brush off the hole in the deck like some kind of gnome running around with any oxy torch is normal. I go home and sit in the cab of my new project and sip whiskey until i go to bed.
PS: someone carved "panty dropper" into the home made bumper because apparently women love dump bees.
The Good: Body is pretty straight. Mice didnt eat it. glove box lamp works. Seat isn't even torn. Interior is pretty solid considering the meth pipe where the radio should be. Everything seems to be where it should be, except the radiator but I'll get to that. Factory original paint almost everywhere!
The Bad: Keys barely work. heaven forbid you have to open the hood in a hurry, the factory hood release key cylinder is terrible. Or worn out. Cant tell. Both gas tanks are locked up tighter than fort knox and I dont have either key. Ignition cylinder? present, probably took meth; key cylinder found inside engine air filter. 4 wheels, only one has enough rubber left to be recognizably a tire. Also wheels to mobile home and tires to something else. Oh yeah, and dump bees. So many dump bees.
The Ugly: the front axle while seemingly present, doesnt have any of the axle-y bits poking out the ends. nor spindles, nor hubs. Tail gate is completely smashed in. going to pull it off and put it in the back of the wood shed. Really sucks too, not even rusty. Apparently Meth head #1 sold it to meth head #2 whose friend meth head #3 had a truck and they shoved it around the trailer park on skate boards until finally i bought it from meth head #4.
The stupid: Turns out that some hill billy like me decided that it would ride home on the trailer better if I put the cinderblocks, that i won in a game of rock paper scissors from meth head #1, back under the truck. I thought this would be a great idea, since the trailer was a rental and not punching a hole in the deck with what was left of the front axle. much to my suprise I opened up the chain binder locker to find that my 4 binders was actually 2. Thanks rental company. so with some kind of F***ery i managed to keep the thing from falling off long enough to get home. Which took a while because trailer sway is a thing if you don't drag a pile of garbage up onto the trailer far enough while a growing crowd of malcontents eyeballs the tool box on your work truck. So I got home at 4AM. Rental trailer with the WONDERFUL tilt deck was due back at the rental shop at 6AM. So here I am, exhausted, behind schedule, and about to lose my damn mind. And I still have to get it off the trailer. So jack up the front with my Hazard Fraught (TM) jack and start yanking on the come along from the ass end. That went pretty well until the jack fell out through a hole in the deck someone had thrown deck matting over. Usually this only happens on wood trailers, mind. but a torch cut hole in the middle of a near brand new tilt deck trailer was not on my list of expectations. SO one end of the jack goes down the hole, truck falls down, ass end of the jack goes up, and violently uninstalls the radiator. Which sucks because im pretty sure that one was copper cored.
The happy ending: Trailer goes back to the rental company, I get my deposit back, they politely brush off the hole in the deck like some kind of gnome running around with any oxy torch is normal. I go home and sit in the cab of my new project and sip whiskey until i go to bed.
PS: someone carved "panty dropper" into the home made bumper because apparently women love dump bees.
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