Funniest Repair Orders you've seen?

Carlos Murphy said:

I pulled the rod and main caps to inspect and found no damage at all to the crank or bearings.

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Wow!

Carlos Murphy said:

A women drives into the Beemer shop I worked in in Emeryville Ca. in her 320I and reported she had run over something the night before and the oil light came.

She continued to drive home that night (short drive) and drove to our shop the next morning (short drive).

I put the car on the rack to find... the front of the cast aluminum oil pan was gone as well as the oil pump ...

I pulled the rod and main caps to inspect and found no damage at all to the crank or bearings.

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Women talk about how foolish men are...then they pull that crap.....


I talked to a female coworker who had a vehicle that wasn't blowing heat and there was brown water dripping from the front end. I asked her what the temperature guage reading was while she was driving and she flat out said she pays no attention to the engine guages. As far as I'm concerned, chicks like that deserve the extra cost of vehicle ownership.

Psychopete said:

Wtf? LOL I just don't get it.. The only conclusion that I can draw is that they're fucking dudes at bars in their vehicles, a lot.
bingo!where i worked all the older bar hags would come around to hit on me and my boss.hey if shakin your ass gets you a good tip and no nitpicking!.
um.......no!! i'm no gigalo

Seems like that is stuff they wouldn't want to forget about, especially taking it in to have looked at. Hell, maybe they were just hitting on you. I gotta tell my g/f about this, maybe she can provide some better insight.

Pete

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ZMan said:

oh ya, we found a 36 pack of condoms and a box of rough riders in a girls Kia at the last shop I was at. She wasn't bad lookin judging by some of the pictures we found too.

The best is when you need to get a Paintcode on a GM, or even a VW/Audi (in the trunk)..and the cars trunk is FILLED to the brim with shit. Had to clean out the trunk on a Grand Am once to get the paintcode, and found a box of pornos! I just don't get how people can fill their trunks with crap and forget about it like that.

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the longer you're in any customer service job the more you realize people are morons in general.i'de get a lot of WTF? why is there a fucking turd on the floor,diaper behind the seat,strap-on,blood, condoms,needles,razors and mirrors,bindles,panties, crack pipes stuffed under the seat???????????????? or just plain stuffed full of crap that they should have left at home.

although it came in handy when the management wanted to install camera's to watch us(they said it was for the people coming in and out,sure-jackoff gen. mananger-wanted me to count how many gloves i went through in a day,and other great ideas) so i took a nice pair of size 46 panties enriched with organic matter and hung it up blocking the camera for our g.m.

ah the old body shop.....................

customers always right...

Had a fat guy come into the shop driving a 2002 wanting a

new set of shocks installed...LEFT SIDE ONLY...

rangerbum said:

You wouldnt believe the sh!t people leave in rental cars. Ive worked at Hertz rent a car for about a year and 3 months and have seen some wicked crap. used tampons, used condoms, brown streak underwear, a couple whips, panties, white leather chaps with brown whipmarks, too much for my no longer virgin eyes! But on the plus side i find a little cash here and there, knives, bear spray, a machete?, JERKY, beverages of many kinds, and pot, but i dont smoke so i sell it to the Alamo/National washbay employees.

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I know what you mean, I use to work for Dollar Rent A Car. I found used condoms, sex toys, magazines, all sorts of wierd shit. The worst thing I ever found though was a little kid. He was in the back seat of a mini van sleeping. I get in it to start cleaning it and I see what looks like a jacket. I look closer I see the kid. I went inside and asked one of the girls for some help. We called the cops to tell them what happened. One of the other girls there went out and woke the kid up. He cried his eyes out and wouldn't stop. I dont blame him though, imagine waking up to complete strangers. About the time the cops showed up the parents come speeding into the parking lot to get the kid. A good hour had passed since I had checked the car in.

I did get a good repare order today though. It said "Customer states exhuast is too loud". I get the truck (Titan) and sure enough, it's loud. Sounds nice too. I'm setting the rack and see nice brand new Magnaflow pipes on it. I check the exhaust over for leaks and find none. Then I ask the service writer to call the customer and tell him the vehicles done, there's no leaks or anything. Customer comes to pick the truck up and starts it to leave. Immideatly pulls back into the service drive screaming it's too loud. I walk up there and talk to the customer and tell him that the pipes look brand new and have no leaks. He wants me to lift the truck so he can see. He see's the Magnaflow logo on it and flips. Evidently his kid went and got the pipes put on the truck over the weekend without telling him.

I just remembered one that one of the techs I work with got when the 350z's first came out. The customer complained the tires wore out too quickly. He wrote on the ticket, don't do so many burn outs.

my buddy was talking about a guy coming in and wanting 315's on a dodge dakota or something and they told him they would rub to all get out but he got them anyway and then, when he couldnt turn my buddy had to take them off and remount and balance his old tires for free...

Years ago I worked in a starter and alternator shop in Delray Beach, Florida. A huge percentage of customers would come in and say the same thing, "I think it's the solenoid." There was no state inspection in Florida then, you would get in a car to check the charging system and it would run into the fence due to no brakes. A Haitian came in once and said, "Ray joe dunt pleh." ( The radio doesn't play.) We would get old school buses used to ferry Haitian farm workers to the fields, smelled unbelievably bad.

my dad maintains about 40 tractors and other pieces of farm machinery. he is very good at it and has been doing it his whole life. A farm laborer brought in his personal vehicle that was running like shit and asked him to work on it. it would barely run. he basically replaced everything, had the heads off replaced fuel pumps, injectors, everything. finally it stopped running altogether. it would start and run for a few seconds and then slowly die. exasperated, he sent it to the ford dealership who couldnt figure out what the hell was wrong with it.

he had a friend over and they started tinkering with it and they pulled the spark plugs out and checked them. they cranked over the engine and it fired up and ran... badly. the only difference was the guy forgot to replace one of the spark plugs. they put the plug back in and it would not run. pulled the plug back out and it would run... badly.

bonus points to anyone who can tell what was wrong with the truck. it has to do with almonds.

reminds me of another good story while i was working at a walmart tire an lube. a kid came in with his car and complained his tires were wearing out too soon. his car reeked of pot, and there were blunts and weed all over the floor. the chuncks of fresh rubber led us to believe he was doing some pretty nice burnots with them. we told him he wouldnt be getting his tires replaced and to stop doing burnouts because it voids the tire life. he came back about 15 minuites later and complained that someone stole weed out of his car. the manager said he should file a police report, and told him he was a dumbass.

favorite i heard of aviation wise is
pilot: #3 Engine missing
Mechanic: #3 engine found after brief search of right wing.

oh yah and this one i was there
Pilot: Wings wont fold in flight
Us: no *hit and thank god...!!

I had a married troop that was deployed alot and her husband was deployed alot. she bought a new CD player to put in his car because all it had was a factory cassette deck and asked me if I would put it in for her. pulled the ashtray out to get the panel screws and found a nasty dirty red thong. I said to my troop: nice choice in underwear but why you hiding them behind the ashtray (didn't yet know it was her husband's car). she got mad, told me she doesn't wear underwear like that and certainly has no reason to hide them. turns out he was fucking the babysitter on the way to the airport to pick her up and had to hide them in a hurry. 6 months later i found them when i took the ashtray out and caused a divorce ......... i have seen this baby sitter and #12 from a different thread reminds me of her.

my trucking company also recovers stolen/abandoned trucks and trucks where the driver got sick and can't drive for CR England and for Prime. We pick them up and return them to the nearest service facility for the respective company. you would be suprized at what we find............. i don't know if you would laugh or cry.

Every older couple that comes and rents a car to go see Glacier Park ends up coming back in to the office after about 5 minutes to inform us that the transmission is malfunctioning. I take them out to their car to "inspect" it, and teach them that the car has 2 drive modes, DRIVE and SPORT SHIFT. I try to avoid sounding rude, but informing people on how to use the gear selector is difficult to sound nice.

Back in the early 70's a teenager came into my dads shop with his 69 mercury running ruff, dad pulled the distributor cap and noticed a crack in it, so he put on a new one and the car ran great, a few days later he came back, car running ruff again, dad pops the hood and notices the kid had put back on the OLD distributor cap, so dad asks what the hell did you do that for, the kid says"I didnt want to wear out that new one" Dad slams down the hood and says get that s.o.b. out of here and have the hood welded shut!
Dad is 81 years old now and still occasionally talks about how dumb this kid was

i work at a local ford dealer and we see alot of stupid R/O's sometimes its the service writers fault sometimes the comstumer is a retard.

we have sold a few mustang GT500's here recently but the one that really chaps my ass is a 15 year old getting one. yea parents drive and Merc and ferrari. 1200 miles it gets new rear tires. right b4 3k gets a new clutch. 6k changes oil for first time. if you havnt seen or know about the clutches in these cars they have 2 friction discs and well i dont know much about them lol. anyway a gt500 clutch cost 3200 parts.